Catholic, Jewish, Mormon, or Muslim–boys will be boys.… more
Catholic, Jewish, Mormon, or Muslim–boys will be boys.… more
—with thanks to the Columbus Zoo We find Hay-Zeus on what we think is a Sunday. He is in Cruciform. He is missing below the chest, his neck gnawed away. His fists clench fur. Shame, another says. He is our cook and we have not eaten since what we think was Friday. Not fish… more
Before I left Illinois, I told Julie I needed to do this once, meaning Antarctica, not adultery. More and more I don’t know what I want in this world.… more
Switching lanes at eighty without a signal, you bite the Baby Ruth to the wrapper, snap fingers, press play and shout, “Yeah! I don’t care what people say—Nugent’s got balls!” Raising your voice to compete with “Cat Scratch Fever” you ask, “Did you hear what that cocksucker Davis said to me? God, he jerks me.”… more
“Kidnappers should feed the girl they steal something cheap, like frozen dinners. But have you ever tasted frozen dinners? … more
“Everyone was watching, at that point. I was watching too. I should have intervened, because animals on the playground—dogs, cats, snakes, even raccoons sometimes—it happens a lot.… more