Like my first public memory, which is probably of The Challenger exploding and not of the time that I saw Lindsay Farr’s vagina in eighth grade, which was public but not the sort of thing that probably qualifies as “public writ large”… more
Like my first public memory, which is probably of The Challenger exploding and not of the time that I saw Lindsay Farr’s vagina in eighth grade, which was public but not the sort of thing that probably qualifies as “public writ large”… more
So, my ass is bleeding, and I’m not the adventurous sort. All I want is a normal day, but each wipe is a Japanese flag. A big red flag. Colon cancer took my mom’s life, but I don’t overreact. I probably underreact.… more
Females. Also known, culturally, as women. Appropriate undergarments are required to be worn with all uniform combinations. How do we define appropriate? You show us yours and we’ll know it when we see it. But, seriously, don’t show us yours.… more
I think that a lot of what I am, what I’ve always been, is inherently dirty, so I indulge the sickest parts of myself all at once, thinking that I’ll get so nauseous and so done with being me that they will leave my system in one fell swoop.… more
Trauma doesn’t skip generations, it just changes clothes—passed down like the red velvet cake recipe, sweetened to survive.… more
“Malcolm was taking away her cake and ice cream,” Barry said, edging me up. “He should have known she was gonna fight for it.”… more
its just like peeing. it is peeing, what am i talking about, why am i narrating this? i started peeing, missed the cup, and realized i didn’t even know where it was coming from. i wasn’t sure whether to be disgusted or panicked… more
That night I jammed my erect penis into the opening of Dad’s new wife’s minced garlic jar and put it back in the fridge, so I guessed we were even.… more
When at a red light for too long I’d headbutt my father. Helmet to helmet, just to say hello. Pachycephalosaurus was one of the last dinosaurs around, headbutting throughout the late Cretaceous. That is until an asteroid hit the planet.… more