Tag Archives: Humour

We’re Proud of You, Darling

We’re Proud of You, Darling

Fiction by

I take the handle of the vice and turn it clockwise. It’s so close to my eyes it’s out of focus. The screw turns a little and the sliding jaw presses against the left side of my head. I breathe out as much as I can in one go. I hold the nothing as long as I can before I breathe in again. It’s part of the ceremony.more

Toward a Happy Culinary Life (Notes)

Toward a Happy Culinary Life (Notes)

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At the final word he looks sad, perhaps recalling his first love (jam), but his observation lingers across the sticky plastic table and your children, at once, come to a realization that all is not right in their world. That their parent is either a liar or, worst, fraudulent.more

My Girlfriend

My Girlfriend

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My girlfriend has more money than I will make in my entire lifetime–one hundred lives. She’s ambitious and self-made. The handbag boutique, which bears her name in New York, Tokyo and Milan, sold for $45 million. That’s a lot of money, but not enough money to get someone killed and get away with it. Not that she wants someone killed—just saying.more

Tarzan In Space

Tarzan In Space

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“I suppose, for the record, that was the moment I decided to sabotage Britain’s first manned flight into spacemore