Mr Finkel’s Malteser birthday cake, aged 5 hours, passed away between 6 and 6:25pm on 23rd April 2024. Weighing up the facts like baking ingredients, Mrs Finkel decided that her husband absolutely did not deserve a birthday cake, much less the effort she had put into creating it.… more
Tag Archives: Humour
We’re Proud of You, Darling
FICTION by Jake WilliamsI take the handle of the vice and turn it clockwise. It’s so close to my eyes it’s out of focus. The screw turns a little and the sliding jaw presses against the left side of my head. I breathe out as much as I can in one go. I hold the nothing as long as I can before I breathe in again. It’s part of the ceremony.… more
Toward a Happy Culinary Life (Notes)
FICTION by David WhelanAt the final word he looks sad, perhaps recalling his first love (jam), but his observation lingers across the sticky plastic table and your children, at once, come to a realization that all is not right in their world. That their parent is either a liar or, worst, fraudulent.… more
My Girlfriend
FICTION by Michael MazzaMy girlfriend has more money than I will make in my entire lifetime–one hundred lives. She’s ambitious and self-made. The handbag boutique, which bears her name in New York, Tokyo and Milan, sold for $45 million. That’s a lot of money, but not enough money to get someone killed and get away with it. Not that she wants someone killed—just saying.… more
Tarzan In Space
FICTION by Anthony Malone“I suppose, for the record, that was the moment I decided to sabotage Britain’s first manned flight into space… more
