Author Archives: Ben Drevlow

Everybody Knows That Paul McCartney Died in a Car Crash in 1966

Everybody Knows That Paul McCartney Died in a Car Crash in 1966

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After you parted ways, you to your tour bus, your parents their station wagon to sign the non-disclosure agreements, what unasked questions would still linger between you, the way that ancient regrets linger like trapped smoke in empty dive bars?more

Three Middle-Aged Men Telling Scary Stories Around A Campfire

Three Middle-Aged Men Telling Scary Stories Around A Campfire

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Everything is exactly how they remember it: Three 21-year-old shitheads, disheveled with bad haircuts, ratty clothes, ugly macho postures. Except there’s a fourth guy this time, in between them, his arms hung around their shoulders.more

A Phone Call With My Sister

A Phone Call With My Sister

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I ask my sister if she’s been drinking, and she says of course not. I hear her click her tongue, so I know she’s lying. I open the fridge. Something’s rotting in the vegetable drawer, but I don’t want to dig around right now.more

Notes on Leaving–1985

Notes on Leaving–1985

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Forgetting is a blessing, your dad slurs at you over the mac and cheese. You sit quietly until he leaves the table. You wish you could hear your mom’s voice. You hope she’s trying to remember yours, too.more

Epic Workplace Judo/Karate Fight

Epic Workplace Judo/Karate Fight

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Anyway, we’re doling out a hundred thousand skull-shattering kicks per second. Running up walls and punching support beams in half and smashing office equipment to bits. A crowd gathers because of all the righteous moves. They’re pretty impressed.more

May I Help You, May You Help Me

May I Help You, May You Help Me

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I’m gonna be late to pick up our fur baby, Ammo Man tells me. My wife’ll kill me. His black cap says, DUE TO THE COST OF AMMO WE NO LONGER FIRE A WARNING SHOT. You’d better run, I say. And then: Sorry.more

Jonathan Ames

Jonathan Ames

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I wanted to create a character who was broken…  deeply broken…  a character who wanted to disappear from the world and be very quiet so as not to hurt others…  but who nevertheless brought pain where ever he went.more

Believable Characters

Believable Characters

CREATIVE NONFICTION by

Oh, to be young and think you’re the baddest motherfucker on two legs again. He has four legs. But whatever. We’re all baddasses until life grinds us up and turns us into bologna.more

Warm Mayonnaise

Warm Mayonnaise

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Our corporate crusader would not allow his lactose intolerance to ruin his lunch. This was the only time he had to himself, the only part of his life that he didn’t necessarily enjoy so much as not suffer through. This was his only freedom.more

How to Write a Best Man’s Speech

How to Write a Best Man’s Speech

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Socrates, Nietzsche, Freud. Noah knew about the phallic stage while the rest of us were still in the phallic stage.more