Jared is going to shoot a pig from a helicopter, probably more than one, and I’m going to hear about it forever.… More
Jared is going to shoot a pig from a helicopter, probably more than one, and I’m going to hear about it forever.… More
Acquired the boxer’s dose somewhere in the late huns and to this day still. Out for a drink after one bloodied the other and in come the bar dame with a sawed-off smile. You, on the other side, shouted Rodney’s punched up liver.… More
If we had come here a couple of centuries ago, I’d have hunted bear, chased down wolves, and maybe fought an Indian or two. But lacking the athletic challenges with which Daniel Boone was blessed, I’ve been forced to embrace the frontiersman in me by playing pickleball.… More
Now in the poolhouse, with total access to the woman he craved, John pulled away, gulped back two, three mouthfuls, who was counting. “I love you, I don’t know, that’s not the point. It’s just—I’m not Des. You can’t slap a tattoo, a beard on me and, boom, I’m your husband.”… More
Lukas wasn’t talking to Jesus. He was thinking about words a straight boy would use to describe Amy’s boobs that he could later use with Mark. Melons? Knockers? A sack and a half of tits?… More
Another lumber-hucking workday in the yard had put a lil’ more wear on these soles. It barely covered the bills, but I had a spot in a cramped, too-many-dudes’ apartment, right on the sand; dude’s trying to become men, or men trying to remain young dudes.… More
It was about the onesie. The onesie for the dog. And maybe about the honey on the fridge, and the whole plumber episode. I think it’s about bad brain biochemistry.… More
i am an aircraft-grade titanium eagle screeching the pledge of allegiance as i hurtle towards target at a mile per second (fuck the metric system)… More
When I was learning the multiplication tables one day, Ms. Brower came in to tell me they were sending my mother upstate. I thought that meant into the air, someplace in the clouds. As if what must happen to those in such mental trouble cannot be rendered here on the ground. Their state must be taken up.… More
Before, they had only seen a white-haired, old guy. Now, they see an angry man armed with an axe and are silent.… More
Annie will shoot you in the back. She will cross a galaxy if it means she will have the last laugh. But she would never sit still, parlay and hang around in orbit, even if it meant saving the day. She would sooner kill the alien that comes in peace than share her world with its people.… More