The suite is large and expectant; its bed a sea of pillows and false potential. … more
The suite is large and expectant; its bed a sea of pillows and false potential. … more
What do you guys do when you’re not having sex? Do you watch television like we did? Is that the faint smell of American Spirits that I sometimes catch the scent of, the bedroom window open to cover it up? Do you ever get too cold sitting up in bed with white sheets covering your naked bodies, puffing on cigarettes?… more
Drunk and jealous in an exotic locale, he wonders: “What’s the opposite of a honeymoon?”… more
My girlfriend has more money than I will make in my entire lifetime–one hundred lives. She’s ambitious and self-made. The handbag boutique, which bears her name in New York, Tokyo and Milan, sold for $45 million. That’s a lot of money, but not enough money to get someone killed and get away with it. Not that she wants someone killed—just saying.… more
I spent most of high school wearing hoodies, reading guys like Salinger, and thinking about a girl called Laura, whose name is not really Laura.… more
Catholic, Jewish, Mormon, or Muslim–boys will be boys.… more
Choice 1: He had the biggest cock she’d ever seen and he had no idea how to use it.
Choice 2: Wait, Brandy’s had an awning? Then why did we get stuck in the rain that night?? … more
“But before we ‘made love’ (or whatever you like) we went to the laundromat, and before that, we were in a bar…”… more
After you lost to her for Class Treasurer you kissed her in the coat room and grabbed one pre-boob.… more