I just started talking to myself. I’m not sure it’s a good thing.… more
I just started talking to myself. I’m not sure it’s a good thing.… more
It occurred to him to kiss her on her sleeping check, but he couldn’t shake the thought that the gloss of vodka on his lips would leave a permanent sanitized mark, a bleached, diamond-shaped tag that would mar her face for life. So he closed her door and stumbled down the hall to the kitchen to top himself off.… more
If Jeff hadn’t told folks it was my birthday damn-near every time we went out to eat growing up, I’d have thought someone got cute with their lighter games in Bob Evans and things had gotten out of hand. … more
If Nancy and I aren’t still together when I die, I’d like whatever girl I’m with to wear a black cocktail dress and one of those sexy hats Jackie Kennedy wore. Make sure Nancy gets invited.… more
My girlfriend has more money than I will make in my entire lifetime–one hundred lives. She’s ambitious and self-made. The handbag boutique, which bears her name in New York, Tokyo and Milan, sold for $45 million. That’s a lot of money, but not enough money to get someone killed and get away with it. Not that she wants someone killed—just saying.… more
Catholic, Jewish, Mormon, or Muslim–boys will be boys.… more
Things that go hand and hand – like professional wrestling and pornography.… more
The German-language existentialist finds that his work is deeply misunderstood…… more
“He was aware of the physical world, but from a distance, as if he had plunged into a deep hole. He no longer conceived of either his hand or the receiver; he only sensed, wordlessly, that a distant part of himself stood in contact with an object, and that object should be used for destruction.… more
“Beer Bob is my go-to Bob, my everyday Bob. He’ll come over and we’ll drink a beer. He’s also Working Bob—meaning really working, not just farting around on the computer… more