I decided I loved her because the first time we fucked I was flung suddenly and viscerally into a childhood memory of the county fair pig races.… more
I decided I loved her because the first time we fucked I was flung suddenly and viscerally into a childhood memory of the county fair pig races.… more
If you’d shared even a shard of your sorrow with me, I might’ve sooner had the blessing of being pierced with the truth of why: why you needed the sweet justice of Pam Grier’s sass and strength; why you needed to see a good woman get away with doing a bad thing.… more
The contrast of this monochromatic life is startling. We will eventually change our funeral attire and change the lens to gain a wider perspective, not so zoomed in on this noir summer of waiting, of letting go.… more
They’re prepping him for surgery now. IVs inserted in matchstick veins, secured with tape, fluids dripping at a hypnotic rate. “You’re going to feel a prick,” the nurse alerts him as she aims yet another needle at him like a dart. I am a prick, he thinks.… more
Let me pretend that my dad didn’t storm our house, kick our front door until it caved in, nor did he stab it with a steak knife. That as I peered outside, barefoot and confused, the police officer hadn’t noticed me. Pretend I didn’t see my mom holding her head in her hands and rocking back and forth, and that I never heard her say, he’s going to kill us, he’s going to kill us.… more
The day after you died our son watched Star Trek. I thought it was odd because he never had before. The episode was about an invisible spaceship entity that wanted to die. The crew of the Enterprise had to give up trying to save it.… more
Here is the wish I’m ashamed of—that you were the type of grandparent who had a fun nickname like Papa or Gramps, who came to my dance recitals, who called me on my birthday. Who would have intervened, gotten to know me, before it was too late and dementia stole all but your oldest memories. Leaving me with the responsibility to build this relationship that had never fully bloomed. … more
Thrusting your own weight means thrusting a lot. Thrusting because of how it affects your body, not just by changing it, but putting it in proximity with other thrusting bodies. Thrusting because no weight on a bar feels heavier than lonesomeness in your abdomen.… more
Our father studied geology and psychology. Was a science teacher, until students proved alien. A stint in the Air Force as potential NASA pathway. Gravity defeated him, exacted its price for warp speed.… more
I prayed to the Hair Gods, and they, in their mysterious follicle wonder, sent me an angel dressed in DOC tans with a lazy eye who offered shampoo and conditioner.… more