I knew Bridget Brown Eyes. She was different people. She was a paternal orphan. She studied organic chemistry. She got a bikini wax. We went on two dates. We hated each other over dinner on the first. We agreed to another date because, if we could get around each other’s awful personalities, we would have liked to sleep together.… more
Author Archives: BULL Author
Keeping The Knife
FICTION by Justin CarterIt wasn’t on purpose, but Jimmy Franks is a real piece of shit, so I’m not sorry it happened either. If I was gonna break anyone’s beer bottle, I’m glad it was his. Well, in the abstract, at least.… more
Flash Fiction
FICTION by David LefkowitzAvoid Algorithms… Anything but Warhol’s soup can. Your can! A can I’ve never seen before.… more
Hog Heaven
FICTION by Gary V. PowellApparently, lack of empathy is the one psychological trait shared by all elite warriors, all special forces guys, Max included. It’s that singular trait that allows them to kill without hesitation or remorse. Or, in the case of Max’s current job, the trait that allows him to acquire struggling companies with the sole goal of leveraging their value before gutting them and selling assets piecemeal.… more
Fist Fight
FICTION by Rick ClaypoolI saw my barber at the post office and we got into a fist fight. I saw my dentist at the grocery store and we got into a fist fight. I saw my plumber at the mall and we got into a fist fight. I don’t want this to keep happening but it keeps happening.… more
Anybody Seen Ray-Ray?
FICTION by Michael MartinThey had all mellowed out, sitting there slumped over, eyes closed, half asleep when another car came up the avenue. This one stopped with a skid and a screech. No one noticed the color, make or model. It was dark, could have been black, blue, or even red. All they saw was the front passenger side window go down, and then Alton yelled, “Oh shit, gun!”… more
Foghorn
FICTION by Eli S. EvansUltimately it was all thanks to her farting, and more specifically to the foghorn-like sound into which, echoing about inside the toilet bowl, its original sound was transformed, that no matter how foggy the weather no ship ever crashed into the bathroom.… more
Two Micros
FICTION by KossStripe-tailed with downy head plumage, amphibian up to ankles—truncated by Reorganized Latter Day Saint knicker flannel, she claw-writes ambidextrous each time the thunder comes. They published her without knowledge—just the way she prefers.… more
The Fracture
FICTION by Eliot LiMr. Davis hadn’t known that a penis could fracture, yet when the young lady in scrubs with the ultrasound machine pressed the tip of the probe into the crooked purple eggplant between his legs and declared “Yup, it’s fractured,” he knew his life would never be the same.… more
My Daddy Issues Drove Me to the Monastery
FICTION by Pete ProkeschI wondered if I was the first monk to sneak out to strip clubs. I mean, no one was perfect. Every monk had their thing. Harry always took two desserts instead of one. Miles slept through his pancake shift on the weekend. Phil took like eight paper towels when he dried his hands in the bathroom. But the first monk to sneak off to strip clubs?… more
