Three ducks fly over, a lawnmower growls, and Anson Senior has not yet arrived for the exchange. The exchange is what Meredith actually calls it. In front of people, no matter who is listening.… more
Three ducks fly over, a lawnmower growls, and Anson Senior has not yet arrived for the exchange. The exchange is what Meredith actually calls it. In front of people, no matter who is listening.… more
“You know, Brother Norm,” Sister Lucy had said. “I don’t see how God could send anyone to hell if He loves us all-lovingly. Which He does. Plus, I read where lots of birds do it, you know, both ways. Woodpeckers. Penguins. Who’s to say what’s normal? Who’s to say you’re not normal, Brother Norm?”… more
Abraham Lincoln dies five times a day with two shows on Sunday, and it’s starting to give me a headache.… more
I think about dying a lot these days. But mostly that my crush Sheila might catch me dying. I once heard her tell another teacher that the sensitive boys are her favorite, though I don’t think that means sick boys.… more
He had always felt that Red was someone you summed up over dark liquor and quickly forgot.… more
As the vivid tones of ocean and sand gave way to a more downcast layer, the heat began to fade. Far-off, bronze spots clustered toward every conceivable entrance, carrying fluorescent lines.… more
It was never part of the plan to have dinner with the tumor. But eventually it seemed like the only thing left to try. It didn’t go well.… more
I suspect I won’t show my girlfriend this story or essay or whatever it is. I know this is wrong, but the “process” is what’s keeping me alive, I think. … more
I fractured my penis driving the Zamboni. Before that, my mother disowned me. Before that, I sat shaving my legs like floating dreams above the blue line where hockey players shouted prayers to toothless gods. Before that, my father broke my nose with his figure skate.… more
It was Father’s Day, and two men were fighting in the Dollarama parking lot. One had a shirt that said, “World’s Greatest Dad.” I didn’t know if that’s what started the fight, but a shirt like that is a provocation, and that guy was getting the worst of it.… more