What the fuck ever happened to Vampire Godzilla? That bitch was stylish. Neon laser breath, Billie Eilish. Is she still out walking through oceans trying to hook up? Stomping through mountain ranges at midnight for a quick hook up see you later kind of thing? You know it’s a fucking pain for V-GZL to go out every night somehow not cause a fuss AND still get laid AND find some whale or mermaid blood to suck AND get back to her underwater coffin in the Marianas trench before fucking sun-up.

Vamp Godz. With her brain exploding in pain at sunset. With nobody even believing she exists. With nobody believing she even has a right to exist. With everybody wishing the very idea of her didn’t exist. She’s an undead immortal trying not to rot in that cold water, glistening like crystal lava, a goddamn inspiration. People think about her at funerals to distract themselves from death or when the cops show up to evict you or when you get fired then super-drunk in the park and she’s definitely on people’s minds when you’re praying the masked secret police won’t catch you and end you.

Sure we might have to run screaming into the streets to escape her but it’s a thousand times better running and screaming about Vampire Godzilla than running from a firebombed apartment or another white supremacist or ICE traitor pieces of shit because at least Vampire Godzilla isn’t trying to personally fuck anyone over, she’s just the casual natural equivalent of 10,000 honey badgers on acid just as likely to stomp on us as stomp the fuck out of fascists without pausing half a second to hear them scream.

So, this is just to say, Vampire Godzilla, wake the fuck up, show us what you got, give us a little bit of spark. We know we have to put in our share of the work but having you out there would fucking rule. Arise, good friend! We need you and every other monstrous freak out here to face these tidal waves of shit trying to drown us.