Instead of some magic mushrooms hidden in clumps of cheap milk chocolate, I found a shoebox labeled broth with a little plunger and some bands and, beneath them, a packet of information that told me it was a foreskin stretcher. … more
Instead of some magic mushrooms hidden in clumps of cheap milk chocolate, I found a shoebox labeled broth with a little plunger and some bands and, beneath them, a packet of information that told me it was a foreskin stretcher. … more
Rita’s got one eye on her toddler and the other on her order screen. She tucks her phone under her chin and repeats the order back to the red Corolla, makes a face at Agnes, her boss who likes to say, the customer is right, usually. She’s okay for a boss, fun even, is also semi-okay with Rita bringing her kid to work now and then. Like today when he sneezed twice at drop-off and Claire, the prissy daycare lady, said absolutely not, but whatever. … more
There was a floaty moment where even the kids in their car seats seemed to notice, and his wife Kelly, she just took a breath that went down to her toes, and Don, he didn’t have some miraculous driving maneuver that saved the day, some turn into the slide bullshit; no, he just thought, like he was about to post to Facebook, Don Whitney is gonna die, along with his whole freaking family, in a smoking, twisted heap. … more
In organized fashion, black dots formed a line from the driver-side seat, down below the center console, just under the gear shift and onto the floor mat near my feet. I might have hummed the “Ants Go Marching,” but then I realized the ants were my fault too as I watched them collecting in a plastic bag I left in the car overnight.… more
The river deceived. In summer it hid its strongest currents. In winter it disguised its thinnest ice. I had been raised to believe there were more ways to die on it than could be counted.… more
Once a year, around the holidays, it becomes too much. I crawl in my tweet, cradle my miniature man like my mom used to me. I miss you, I’ll say.… more
This was nothing like how I knew the ditch water reason for Lobo’s summer sores, how every summer he got the sores and every summer the ditches filled with water. I knew about that now.… more
I ruled the underworld for too long. I am bored, & wish to come home, retire. There is little for me to do; it’s hell on earth & I had nothing to do with it. I blame God (He was never a good boss) for failing humanity. Yes, I know the rules: I forgive him. Can I please come home?… more
Elvis is singing to me. Straight into my soul. He knows all about Sharon, how shit school is, how tough it is being a weirdo, with a brain exploding with new ideas, like burying pennies in the vegetable garden and digging them up a year later when they’re worth thousands of pounds as treasure. Elvis knows, and I know, that our friendship is our destiny.… more
I wondered if I was like him. Even if I loved my children and my wife, it didn’t matter, because I had already abandoned my first family in my own way. Just like him. I studied the picture of Dad again. I just wanted him to turn toward the camera and look my way one time.… more