Females. Also known, culturally, as women. Appropriate undergarments are required to be worn with all uniform combinations. How do we define appropriate? You show us yours and we’ll know it when we see it. But, seriously, don’t show us yours.… more
Females. Also known, culturally, as women. Appropriate undergarments are required to be worn with all uniform combinations. How do we define appropriate? You show us yours and we’ll know it when we see it. But, seriously, don’t show us yours.… more
I think that a lot of what I am, what I’ve always been, is inherently dirty, so I indulge the sickest parts of myself all at once, thinking that I’ll get so nauseous and so done with being me that they will leave my system in one fell swoop.… more
Trauma doesn’t skip generations, it just changes clothes—passed down like the red velvet cake recipe, sweetened to survive.… more
“Malcolm was taking away her cake and ice cream,” Barry said, edging me up. “He should have known she was gonna fight for it.”… more
its just like peeing. it is peeing, what am i talking about, why am i narrating this? i started peeing, missed the cup, and realized i didn’t even know where it was coming from. i wasn’t sure whether to be disgusted or panicked… more
That night I jammed my erect penis into the opening of Dad’s new wife’s minced garlic jar and put it back in the fridge, so I guessed we were even.… more
When at a red light for too long I’d headbutt my father. Helmet to helmet, just to say hello. Pachycephalosaurus was one of the last dinosaurs around, headbutting throughout the late Cretaceous. That is until an asteroid hit the planet.… more
Twenty years later I watched a music video and saw a girl flop into the back seat of a car and her legs dangled out the door and the whole thing came back and repeated in my head over and over for hours like the return of a chronic infection, like a burning, corrosive rash.… more
Oh, to be young and think you’re the baddest motherfucker on two legs again. He has four legs. But whatever. We’re all baddasses until life grinds us up and turns us into bologna.… more