Five miles of Saharan-scale dunes along the Carolina seashore. So hot and vast, signs warned at the tourist parking: you have no way of expecting just how daunting and dangerous this walk will be. … Continue Reading
I thought maybe they were canceling operations. Or maybe terminating my contract. For good this time. Real good. Maybe they wanted to do it in public, make a big show of it. I’d rather they handle these matters in private, in some musty old brick warehouse somewhere, in some back alley, on a secret plane to nowheresville, maybe tossing my body out over a swamp. There is a dignity to that, a flair to it.… Continue Reading
“How about you tell me your phone number and I will add up and multiply all the digits for you in less than two seconds.” Her forehead gave way to a frown. “Woah, bit early to be giving out phone numbers isn’t it, Dave?”… Continue Reading
You had tried, you really had. Yoga, meditation, bird walks, volunteering, stand-up comedy, stand-up comedy! Dating, abstinence, forgiveness, self-love (too much?), anti-gun rallies, pro-gun rallies, rainbow flag rallies, deep bows to all Four Directions for all you weren’t. … Continue Reading
When they arrived, it was more like a scene from Halloween as opposed to Christmas. The broken reindeer looked forlorn on the lawn, almost as melancholy as the faerie lights, half dangling from the gutter. However, the abject look on Dan’s face as he opened the door quickly turned to relief. The whispers of, “It’s bad, really bad.” … Continue Reading
“It’s not just Margaret who wanted me to get an erection taser,” I tell him, “I wanted me to get one.”… Continue Reading
Clint preferred showing over telling, the width of his shoulders, the location of his feet. He invited the clients to watch him, to learn from his form, his steady, even reps, balanced sets that worked each muscle group. Clint was a specimen of physical human potential. We all had something to learn.… Continue Reading
I love you like the first sip of White Claw / the last toke on a spliff / but without you I’m an unloved TikTok dance / a husked soul with spaghetti arms / open & ready for you / so take me back / the viraless meme that I am.… Continue Reading
Daddy said I need to defend the house now that I’m the man and if I put a sock over this bat, the bad guys grab the sock but not the bat. See? Then I can bash em.… Continue Reading
They call you the “Flying Squirrel.” It’s a stupid moniker, one you used to try to drop. Back when you cared about those kinds of things. You used to care about a lot of things you’ve sacrificed over the years, along with your pride, your relationship with your son, and plenty of your brain cells.… Continue Reading