I whispered to her, “You’re like a dead catbird to me.” It just came out. I’m out of control sometimes. But I did love a dead catbird once. When something’s dead and you feel an ache for it, that’s love.… Continue Reading
Cleaning, fillings, whitening—Heck! Even crowns, bridges, and implants! One last good fuck at corporate with a three-thousand-dollar copay and a two-week sick leave.… Continue Reading
To deliver Russia’s most advanced submarine to America, Captain Boris Zardoz beats the political officer into a stupor with a dozen kicks to the face, stashes the rat bastard Commie in one-of-two bathrooms, and keeps the crew of 160 away with an out-of-order sign.… Continue Reading
Call me Gerry the Cancer. All I need to do is get completely meth’d up and have someone film me screaming in a parking lot with an enormous jar of figs under my arm, and a sore asshole. Comment section loot here I come!… Continue Reading
I didn’t want to change time. I just wanted to tickle it. It didn’t take much: Pick a putridity. Pick a time. And back it goes.… Continue Reading
Dave is chiseled by the gods. Hotter than the fires of hell. He’s golden from head to toe, from the shaggy waves of his wolf cut to the sun-licked glow of his skin, the same color as the fried chicken he was raised on.… Continue Reading
They don’t call it an IQ test but they don’t call anything what it is since the Research came out. Except for Taco Bell.… Continue Reading
Others have come here. Sacrifices have been made. The suffering is ancient and it gets inside your nerves. But at least when you hear the screaming, you know where it’s coming from.… Continue Reading
Fish swims further up, past the end of Man’s leg, towards the source of all unhappiness, and opens its mouth. For a long, eternal second, neither Man nor Fish moves. A shiver races up Man’s spine. Endless possibilities in his head.… Continue Reading
I was trying to get an erection, but in a stranger’s chilly bathroom with floor-to-ceiling mirrors and the pressure to perform, the odds were against me.… Continue Reading