JH: How annoying are people who are picky about their pizza toppings?

JP: There is nothing more sacrosanct than the selection of pizza topping. Anyone who doesn’t care a copious amount about every little thing is pretty much dead inside. Life is a collection of moments, and many of those moments are spent eating pizzas. That’s America. And if you waste those moments (moments = life, remember) then you’ve pretty much wasted your entire existence, even the sex parts. That being said. Mushrooms make me sick, all right. And I don’t like raw tomatoes. There are already tomatoes in the sauce. You’re just being tomato-greedy. And nobody likes anchovies, except some sailors and those brackish people who work at Long John Silver’s, but not the regular land-dwelling peoples.