BULLshot: John Warner

BULLshot: John Warner

BULL: Have you ever been attracted to a monkey? Or vice-versa?

JW: The Tim Burton version of Planet of Apes is a pretty terrible movie, probably one of the worst ever when weighed against the potential to be good, but I will admit that Helena Bonham Carter, as Ari, doesn’t look half bad, mostly because the chimp version of Helena Bonham Carter looks a lot like Helena Bonham Carter. On the vice-versa, I’ve never had a monkey attracted to me, but I have had one who was attracted to my stuff. My wife and I honeymooned in Kenya, and at one of our stops, the camp was essentially run by vervet monkeys who would sneak into your tent and ransack your things if you didn’t make sure to zip the opening completely closed. When we returned after dinner one night, the tent flap was open and once inside I saw one of the vervets holding my Discman (pre iPod days) above his head, shaking it like he was trying to jar something loose. When he saw us, he dashed it to the ground and sprinted from the tent. I think that incident probably became an inspiration for this particular story.


About the Author

Jarrett Haley is the editor of BULL.