Out there, somewhere, is the stupidest person alive. There are a lot of stupid people in the world, but someone has to be the stupidest. It might be a fleeting thing. Someone might be the stupidest person alive only for a matter of minutes or seconds. The stupidest person alive, as a matter of fact, could also be the smartest person alive caught in a moment of madness. Last week, I did something really stupid. I paid for petrol without fuelling my car and ended up breaking down on the motorway. When the breakdown service arrived, I managed to convince them to let me stay in the car in its towed position, you know, for a laugh. I had the most fun, steering the wheel in whichever direction, waving at passing cars with both hands and what have you. Next thing I knew, the hooks gave way and I reversed off the truck into another car, killing everyone inside, including the family dog, Apollo. It was a lonely couple of hours in the company of that wreckage but I found consolation in the idea of one day, even just for a matter of minutes or seconds, becoming the smartest person alive.