A piss-drunk life coach once asked me to describe my life in three adjectives, and I just said far-out, glorious, and tits, and we burst out laughing and stayed drunk and friends until it all bombed and he had to move back in with his mum, and I almost forgot about him, but this fucker right here telling me I should use powerful adjectives for my LinkedIn account made me briefly remember.
Today my three adjectives would be: Thirty years of this shit, man, and it’s still dark.
I’m blowing hot air straight into the ignition of my red ’94 Hyundai S-Coupé (the S stands for juicy warm mixtape) because it’s cold outside and a guy in a stained onesie once told me that that that might work when it’s cold outside, and sometimes I give her a little tongue too, and the ignition goes that that that and that that that again and I blow and tongue, just a little bit more, just enough to make her feel desired, that that that, that that that, and vroom here we go, off to the lake, roaring and spitting.
Except it’s not really a lake because the beaches are straight and made of concrete, cold and gray (as above, so below), and that’s good because you can switch off and don’t have to watch your step and get distracted by amber or plastic dinosaurs or funny-shaped rocks that are actually polished pieces of old Coca-Cola bottles, and you can just walk, head held high, and let the sand in your mind smooth things out like the dull shards of old glass bottles and insist that things that never existed existed. That that that things that never existed existed existed.
repeat after me: they never existed
repeat after me: they never existed
insist after me: they never existed
Like old love in young skin, or raising tall glasses to the undying, the warm blankets of not yet & almost and the spinning and the slashing of veins and all you ever bleed is blood, same old, same old, same oh my, look at the time.
That that that, that that that, goes the ignition, existed existed existed, a little more breath, a little more tongue, existed existed existed, existed insisted existed and vroom here we go, off into the (1) great (2) wide (3) verbose.
