The choking makes him gag and phlegm and hee and haw like a donkey. He wheezes and bends and his stomach crunches back into a beautiful workout-esque shape. His head is turned toward Brian’s and they kiss while he’s choking him and wet dog drool enters hero’s mustache. The humpback is still humping him, pumping like a perpetual piece of machinery, a motion picture on loop. And he starts guffawing, hetero noises if there is such a thing—and it seems inexplicably there is. But hero is choking and still reaching his hand around to grip at Brian’s ass and drag it in closer in the spoon and is all but imploring him to go harder, go further, go more. Fuck him more. Hero says what’s going to happen and Brian nods, just about manages to. Hero jerks off and cums on his own stomach and Brian carries on.

So much for Viagra and premature ejaculation and whatever foibles of middle age, he’s plowing him forever. He’s a lump hammer. More choking, even when the thrill is gone for hero. It goes on and on. And the post-ejaculation frenzy leaves hero shivering in shame as rivulets of sweat bead off his forehead and onto the sofa. His jizz is a pool below his belly button from which he was cruelly born and it slides off of his stomach as Brian thumps him and shakes his entire body. With the sexuality side of it having now expired, hero feels the raw pain. He arches and veins stand on his neck. The veins hurt pressed against the clasp of his mates’ hands. And Brian says he’s going to fuck him until he can’t stand up, until hero cums again. But this is mostly nonsense.

Hero feels the blood going to his head and he tries to cough but can’t. It feels like death but he’s unafraid. Death is meaningless when it’s looking at you. Death is meaningless when you’re passing away and Brian fucking you is the hourglass that is running down your soul. Life makes death poignant, and this is not life. It’s of course not yet death either. It’s best described as post-life, or maybe pre-death.

Saliva comes out of his choked mouth. Hero’s own hands go to the humpback’s hands on his neck. Some soothing intimacy in that. He’s a degenerate, he’s a fag incapable of love, incapable of Sam and incapable of Alex, and yet there’s still something in him that wants to hold hands, wants to walk through the park or down the promenade and enjoy a romantic picnic. Did Brian ever want that? With his wife or with anyone else? Their feet rub together. Hero’s dainty feet of youth and the crooked under fins of the whale.

At the beach the other day, he looked a beauty and a tame beauty at that. He looked very normal. And yet there is this side to him also.

Brian takes himself out of hero and tells him to get up. Hero moves slowly because he aches. He stands up, jizz-bespeckled, and Brian puts him back on his knees. He puts his cock back into hero’s mouth, allowing no oral foreplay. He thrusts heavy into his mouth and puts his hands behind his head and then into hero’s hair, eventually grasping at it again. Dirty-talking, calling hero a slut, a whore, a dog. And just making him ravenously eat his cock.

He pulls out and jerks off and finishes on hero’s face. Still cumming he puts his dick into hero’s mouth again and makes him suck it. He takes it out, puts it in again, gyrates pointlessly. He says for hero to swallow the cum on his cheekbones and he does. And he makes hero lie down on his back on the floor and he jerks some residual cum onto his legs and thighs and his feet.

And by then, he’s finally had his fill. He says he’s going to shower and hero nods. He leaves the room.

Hero stands around cold and covered in a snail trail of sperm. His own and more belonging to this father of two who just shagged his back door in. He feels sore and emasculated. A different kind of virginal sacrifice. A true destruction of innocence. He grips himself and looks at the fish tank. He listens to the shower and Brian seems to be showering slowly and for ages. It’s a weird kind of power, like non-reactions or slowed speech or slowed walking. Hero goes and stands in the landing and sees the steam coming down the stairs, the convection currents reaching him.