Vermillion Silk Tie

This is the kicky accessory that conceals my minuscule package. I make no effort to hide the truth—well, that’s not true. When it matters, I go above and beyond. God, in all his wisdom, grants to us our due, they say. A smallish package resists lament if God has graced one with manifold other gifts, such as beauty, wealth, intelligence, or a modicum of fame. I opened a letter sent to me by a fan and out of it fluttered pressed and blackening rose petals and a whiff of death. “Dear sir,” it said. “In town for a conference and would love to spend some time with you.” Oh really? The female letter writer included an unflattering headshot. Not that I’m superficial that way. A beautiful soul surpasses surfaces. A beautiful soul lights up the world. I sent her back a photograph of myself wearing my favorite vermillion silk tie. She responded quickly and stated thus: “You remind me of someone I used to know: A man lacking seriousness.” I wondered how she’d arrived at that conclusion. She ghosted me soon after, and following a span of intense internal fusion and fission, I grew as serious as the sun.

Feldgrau Helmet

Johnny Fingernagel said his father wore the ugly helmet during the big war. Tall and mean, his father had ice blue eyes that cut you. Then Johnny asked if my father had fought in the war. I told him my uncle had died in it, so my father didn’t have to fight. He asked if my father was yellow. “No,” I said. “My father can kill your father,” he said. “He killed lots of people in the war,” he added. “Said it was nothing.” Johnny and his father concerned me. I began to obsess that they were planning to kill my father. One day in the park, kicking around a soccer ball with some pals, Johnny appeared. I warned him to leave me alone or he’d be sorry. “My father’s going to kill your father tonight,” he said. I punched him in the nose and it bled like a hose. Later, my father took the belt to my behind. He didn’t call it a beating. He called a heating. “You need a little heating, son,” he said and he gave me one. “I was only trying to save your life!” I cried, hoping that a righteous God would paralyze him.