The man saved from drowning by a pod of dolphins doesn’t know what all the fuss is about. He was never in any real danger. He could have swum back to shore at any time if he’d wanted to. He knew what he was doing. He’s a strong swimmer.
The man saved from drowning by a pod of dolphins was heading for the lighthouse several miles offshore. He imagined himself sunbathing on the soft grass at its base, chatting with the lighthouse keeper, drinking tea from an enamel mug and scratching the lighthouse keeper’s dog behind its ears for an hour or two before heading back to shore. Perhaps he misjudged the distance, just a little, but he would have got there eventually. There was no need for anyone to call out the coastguard.
The man saved from drowning by a pod of dolphins does not make a habit of this sort of thing. It’s true that he did once lose his car keys on a rollercoaster and have to hitchhike home because he couldn’t bring himself to call his mother, but who hasn’t done that? And it’s true that he did once get locked inside a furniture store overnight but that sort of thing could happen to anyone, those places are designed to conceal their exits.
The man saved from drowning by a pod of dolphins was in the sea for eleven hours before he was picked up by the lifeboat, according to the papers. It didn’t seem that long to him. News reports are frequently exaggerated. Apparently his rescuers were drawn to his location by circling dolphins, but he found them pretty annoying, nudging him with their pointed snouts and getting in the way of his backstroke.
The man saved from drowning by a pod of dolphins wishes that everyone would stop going on about it. He is fed up with the requests for interviews; isn’t there any real news to report? He is sick of his mates making jokes about Flipper and telling him that at least he can tick swimming with dolphins off his bucket list now. He is sick of his mother saying he is lucky to be alive. If there’s one thing this experience has taught him, it’s that he’s a survivor, in fact he’s proven he’s pretty much invincible.
The man saved from drowning by a pod of dolphins never did find out what happened to his brand new trainers. He left them on a rock on the beach along with his T-shirt and a pair of jeans. He imagines his stuff floating out on the waves when the tide came in, perhaps being swallowed up into the belly of a large fish or a giant squid. He quite likes that idea, a bit of his DNA belonging to the sea.
The man saved from drowning by a pod of dolphins has not been put off swimming, in fact he’s going to attempt a cross-channel swim next. He’s got a taste for the sea, for adventure. He’s proven that he’s a capable, strong swimmer with an above average tolerance for cold temperatures, and he certainly isn’t going to tell anyone when he plans to attempt his next feat because they’ll only turn up in their inflatable boats with their lifejackets and megaphones and ruin everything. As long as those pesky dolphins keep out of his way he’ll be in France in time for dinner.
