Well, I got into a fight with my best friend the only way men know how to fight; nod and grunt and mhmm on calls until the calls become sparser and then one day, I notice we haven’t talked for a single minute in a whole month. Every time we planned to meet, he’d cancel because his wife guilted him into seclusion yet again. My daughter was supposed to visit for Christmas, but that too has changed—the flights costing what they do—and besides, I think she might’ve met someone. She told me she loves the sunny, warm winters in Australia, and I wonder when the shift occurred from loving her marshmallow-laden hot cocoas on wintery nights to unwrapping presents at the beach. I don’t blame her for not wanting to spend the money, but I can’t help but blame her a little bit for kicking her old man in the teeth, bucking with tradition. My wife tells me I don’t understand what it’s like being a young woman, but I suspect she doesn’t either, it’s been so long. Anyway, ever since my friend and I stopped talking and my daughter and I kept missing our weekly calls—what, with the time difference and all—and now learning Christmas will be just another day with more house chores to tackle, I started having this tightness in my chest that comes and goes like a rubber band snapping into place over and over again. My wife rolls her eyes whenever I bring it up, but every night I go to bed, I ask her what If I don’t wake up, what If I die in my sleep from a heart attack, and all she does is groan and roll over and tell me to stop being so dramatic. Sometimes I wish that’s exactly what would happen so she could feel stabbing guilt. And then I feel guilty, can you believe that? So anyway, this poking in my chest just won’t go away and I’ve read that fish oil is good for heart health, but so is magnesium, and apparently red beets too. I guess I’m just at a loss and wanted to know what you’d recommend for some cardiac support.
Rich stops typing and stretches his thumbs like he’s watched his nephew do after playing hours of video games; like he’s going to charge into a deeply intense session of thumb war. In the background, the TV drones on in muted silence. He watches the three speech bubbles start and stop until finally, a message appears in the chat box, the fluorescence of his phone casting his face in sterile light.
Hello, welcome to Gaia Herbs Live Chat, what may we assist you with today?
Below the message, a multiple-choice list of categories to choose from, none that address his chest spasms, or the loneliness of aging, or feeling yourself being phased out of your own life.
