Every morning during her first urination of the day, a certain woman would fart in such a manner that the original sound of the fart, whatever that may have been, would echo about inside the toilet bowl and come out transformed into a sound closely resembling that of a foghorn. The woman’s husband, a prolific gas passer in his own right whose progressive attitudes toward gender were far more bark than bite, would always object to being exposed in this fashion to the fact of his wife’s having farted, something he found fundamentally distasteful, but ultimately it was all thanks to her farting, and more specifically to the foghorn-like sound into which, echoing about inside the toilet bowl, its original sound was transformed, that no matter how foggy the weather no ship ever crashed into the bathroom, a net positive for the household insofar as if one had, it definitely would have caused a great deal of damage. The reason for this is that even very small ships are very large when compared to bathrooms, whereas even very large bathrooms, when compared to ships, are very small (if you don’t see what I mean, just imagine a ship crashing into your bathroom). Also worth considering is that the captain of any such ship would surely have been highly displeased upon discovering that instead of at his intended destination, he’d ended up in some farting woman’s bathroom.