Dear Mr. Kafka,
Thank you for the proposal of your work-in-progress novel “The Trial”. While we understand that this is only meant to be a glimpse at the potential of a completed work, we felt it lacked too many items to be considered decent literature. For example, your main character Josef K. is under scrutiny and persecution, but we do not know why. This is a major fault in the storyline. We feel that perhaps if the reader knew why Josef K. was undergoing his trial, the book would be much more appealing. Essentially, my recommendation would be to think of this as a writing exercise and move on to more marketable works.
Sincerely,
Karl Fleischer
Dear Mr. Kafka,
Perhaps I was unclear in my previous letter. I was not looking for a revised version of “The Trial.” We cannot use it. Your story remains unchanged save for the numerous and bizarre sexual encounters you’ve added. In particular, the character Leni, with whom K. sleeps, is most disturbing with her webbed hand. I think that perhaps your first draft was better, yet that is far from a compliment. To be clearer this time, we are not interested in “The Trial” and are quite put off by the strange romantic elements you’ve added. Try working on a new project.
Sincerely,
Karl Fleischer
Dear Mr. Kafka,
Thank you for the submission of your novella “The Metamorphosis.” Although I originally thought that your work had minor potential, I am now quite sure that you are simply a poor writer. “The Metamorphosis” is beyond preposterous. Even if I were to suspend my disbelief of the plot for a brief moment, there is still no explanation ever given as to why Gregor was transformed into an insect. This should have been the focal point of the work! This sort of wild and fantastical story belongs in books for children, yet given the handling of the subject, this is far from that mark. We are not interested in “The Metamorphosis” or any other works which you might be thinking of submitting to us. I am sorry to have to be the editor who informs you that you are not meant to be a writer, but it would be discourteous to let you continue in your feeble pursuits.
Sincerely,
Karl Fleischer
