Today I turn 20 and lock my eyes on the future. Like many others today I take the State\u2019s Cognitive Aptitude Vocational Exam aka the CAVE. They don\u2019t call it an IQ test but they don\u2019t call anything what it is since the Research came out. Except for Taco Bell. That\u2019s the same. That\u2019s where my GF Minerva works. And thank God because after a night of laser tag and mini golf our favorite thing is to smash a few chalupas and slurp an extra-large Mountain Dew with her employee discount. Just like we did last night. Then we cuddle up for some action movie and suddenly we\u2019re waking up to the exit score over the credits. We\u2019re such dopes sometimes I swear. But I\u2019m not too worried about this CAVE thing. I play a lot of sudoku and I\u2019m really good at parallel parking. And I get why the State went with the Research and made the CAVE. To see how smart we all are. What we\u2019re interested in and good at. How else would they help people live up to their potential or stop them falling through the cracks? Because someone might be real smart but if they don\u2019t have the money for college or know about some opportunity they couldn\u2019t get ahead and now the State can say \u201cHere\u2019s this great path you didn\u2019t know about\u201d and get them to the next level. Or maybe their parents have money but they didn\u2019t get the good genes and would\u2019ve just floundered through all kinds of false starts and now the State can say \u201cThere\u2019s a more modest path you can be proud of\u201d and keep them focused on that. This way people get into the careers that best suit them. For now I work at Waste Saving Solutions with my friend\u2019s older brother Tate. We\u2019re the ones moving everyone\u2019s bins to the curb before trash day. We cruise around town in Tate\u2019s sweet-ass turbo-charged F-150 and stop at all the apartment buildings where the property manager is too busy for the day to day upkeep. That\u2019s basically all of them. Which is great for us. Tate pulls around back. We load up the bed and I roll whatever bins are left to the curb four at a time if I have to while Tate yells \u201cFaster\u201d cause he wants me to get in shape. We had to work on Christmas last year but I didn’t mind even with Tate complaining. He still put on a Santa hat when we took off from his house then pulled out a present. Weed gummies for each of us. Score! He smirked \u201cMerry Christmas\u201d then said get this \u201cJust don\u2019t tell my wife.\u201d Ha! I never even met his wife. What a cool guy! And what a great job. I mean it\u2019s not hard. The money\u2019s enough for a one bedroom and the occasional night out. It’s not like garbage is stopping anytime soon so there\u2019s no risk of being laid off or outsourced. Plus Minerva says she likes that my shoulders are \u201cgetting ripped.\u201d Her words. She\u2019s the best. We both got made fun of for our weight in high school so we\u2019re lucky to have found each other. We have a pact to always find the compliment. So I have a lot of nice things to say about her. Especially her socks. She has so many fun patterns to choose from from piggies flying and a skeleton bride and groom to ones that say \u201cKeep on sockin in the free world!\u201d Then there\u2019s her laugh. The way her belly jiggles and her face scrunches trying not to snort. I\u2019ll do anything to make her laugh even a cross eyed squirrel face if I have to. But then sometimes she gets upset. And I really hate to see her cry. Which happens like anytime she feels stupid for something she did. Once she asked a friend \u201cHow many quarters are in a football game?\u201d and they laughed and she was sad for a week. She didn\u2019t know that pickles were cucumbers and she couldn\u2019t figure out how to clasp her wristband at the zoo. And every time she says something like \u201cI\u2019m so stupid I\u2019m lucky you still wanna be with me.\u201d I\u2019m flattered she thinks I could do better. But she\u2019s plenty bright enough. Love isn\u2019t a test. It doesn\u2019t take smarts. Some people get you and know how to make you feel good about yourself without having to solve a multi-step word problem. That\u2019s what I love. That\u2019s what the State doesn\u2019t get. Minerva\u2019s really worried about the CAVE. She doesn\u2019t expect much when her turn comes. And she thinks if I score too high that\u2019ll be the end of us cause the State will say I have to get a better job and then I\u2019ll meet someone else and I\u2019ll wonder why I\u2019m with a girl that overtips because she can\u2019t do the percentages in her head. But it\u2019s actually smart to be generous. As Minerva says \u201cwhat goes around comes around.\u201d She\u2019s helping me learn. So when I reach the CAVE sure I could go all out maybe even end up an animator or an electrician or something that looks good on screen. But I can play shadow games too. And when it comes to one of those questions where you figure out what shape the pieces make I can get it wrong. I don\u2019t have to solve which combination comes next in the matrix either. She wouldn\u2019t care. Then the State will let me keep my job with Tate. The sun will keep shining. And after it\u2019s all done we\u2019ll go to the animal shelter. Minerva\u2019s been wanting a dog forever and I\u2019ve been unsure cause yeah they\u2019re super cute and fun but also a lot of work. But if love is making someone feel good about themselves what better than a dog?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
They don\u2019t call it an IQ test but they don\u2019t call anything what it is since the Research came out. Except for Taco Bell.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":182,"featured_media":25598,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3530],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24713","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-flash-fiction","writer-stewart-rudy"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24713","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/182"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=24713"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24713\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25599,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24713\/revisions\/25599"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/25598"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=24713"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=24713"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=24713"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}