Steve wipes the bar down. The after-work rush hasn\u2019t started yet. He has a few minutes before flicking the red neon sign to open. He is chewing on a toothpick and lazily drying a beer mug when his cell buzzes in his pocket.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey Steve, it\u2019s Clay.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cClay Roberts?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah. From Glebe High!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh\u2014hi.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, you.\u201d Clay pauses. \u201cYou talk to your brother recently?\u201d<\/p>\n
Steve snaps the toothpick, splintering it into his cheek. \u201cNot really. I sometimes think I see him here and there\u2026 But hey, we\u2019re about to get slammed any minute now\u2014”<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m calling because I saw Nicky at the liquor shop yesterday while I was stocking up. He was on his knees, kind of rifling around the bottom shelf, looking for the last bottle of sherry or something.\u201d<\/p>\n
Clay is talking quickly, eating a few of his words.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, yeah?\u201d Steve sighs.<\/p>\n
\u201cI mean, he didn\u2019t look great. He didn\u2019t look all that bad, either. I just haven\u2019t seen him since that day.\u201d<\/p>\n
Calls like these about Nicky have become quite common, but from Clay, not so much. Steve wonders where he\u2019s calling from.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, well, I guess it\u2019s good you saw him. Sometimes we lose him for months. But you know, we deal with it. Cross our fingers type of thing.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMust be tough for him to still be like that. It’s why I\u2019m reaching out. I don\u2019t know what to fully think of seeing him yesterday. I mean, I\u2019ve known him to tell crazy stories. But nothing like the one he told me yesterday.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSure, Clay, I know the stories. I\u2019ve heard a lot of them over the years. Listen, give me two seconds to grab my smokes, and I\u2019ll be all ears.\u201d Steve\u2019s smokes are already in his back pocket. He needs a moment to decide whether he wants to keep the conversation going. He knows Nicky isn\u2019t doing well lately, but he never really is. He doesn\u2019t feel like hearing more about his brother\u2019s latest run-ins. But he hasn\u2019t had a real call from Clay in years, so he chooses to listen. \u201cI\u2019m back\u2026 Go ahead.\u201d<\/p>\n
There is a long pause\u2014Clay breathes in.<\/p>\n
\u201cOk. So, your brother sees me and tells me he\u2019s up in those apartments near Bronson and Carling now, and that he has this telescope setup. Said he traded it for an old gaming thing he didn\u2019t want anymore. He tells me he\u2019s been staring at this beautiful brunette in the apartments across the street and how he gets to see her moving all sexy and touching her body and that there\u2019s a man around there, too. An older man, watching her. Just watching her from the couch.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell\u2026 that does sound like Nicky.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cRemember back in high school he used to take us to spy on the senior girls through a little hole he had cut out?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI sure do.\u201d Steve smiles to himself, but it fades quickly. He does remember that moment clear as day. How he had prayed for his crush to turn around and when she did, how his throat got hot.<\/p>\n
Clay goes on. \u201cYeah, Nicky was smiling real big\u2014got so excited he almost dropped his booze. But then he got all serious. He was clenching the bottle real hard. He said he went back to the apartment the following day. That’s when I told him I didn’t think he should be doing all that. I’m not sure he heard me. Maybe he did and ignored me. He said that time, he got closer. He scaled up onto the roof of the pho restaurant, the one with that blueish sign, you know?\u201d<\/p>\n
Steve crushed out his smoke and immediately lit another. \u201cI think so, yeah.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe said he saw the same brunette in the same window. But this time she was hugging herself. Not in a good way though. Nicky started re-enacting her movements. In the middle of the liquor store, balancing the bottle of sherry in his arms. Nicky was hugging himself, swaying, and crying. That\u2019s when I thought of you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Steve checks his watch. The rush could be in any moment now. \u201cClay, I get calls about him a lot. I actually thought he was on the streets still. Sometimes the shit I hear. If I had a nickel\u2014”<\/p>\n
\u201cSteve, just let me finish. Your brother snapped. I thought he might get violent again\u2026 like that day at the trailer.\u201d<\/p>\n
There\u2019s a crack in Clay\u2019s voice. Steve remembers the horror, the screaming, the look of terror on the girl\u2019s face, and how Nicky didn\u2019t understand that what he was doing was so wrong.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd it was just me in there, and I got really scared. When it gets loud and there\u2019s shouting and all that stuff. I\u2019m not good with that kind of thing. You know this. You think someone with a job like mine could deal with stuff like that\u2026 but fuck, I\u2019m just soft, I guess.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know that, Clay.\u201d Steve walks to the front door and locks it, buying himself more time to talk.<\/p>\n
Clay starts again, sounding rushed, speaking a mile a minute, stumbling over his words. \u201cThat\u2019s when the bottle crashed. Sherry all over the floor, and I said, \u2018Nicky, don’t worry about it.\u2019 But he kept going, he kept talking and talking. He was really upset you know. He said he saw the older man and\u2014and the brunette, and that their hands were moving all crazy and that they looked like they were screaming at each other. Your brother yelled, \u2018They must\u2019ve been screaming at each other!\u2019 I told him, I said, \u2018Nicky, people fight like that sometimes.\u2019 And he shouted back, \u2018It\u2019s not right! It\u2019s not right! They love each other! I saw it! I saw it with my own eyes! They were going to be so beautiful, and they were going to be something great.\u2019 He was stepping all over the broken glass and the liquor on the floor. I was worried he would hurt himself.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell\u2026 I don\u2019t know what to say, Clay. You call me out of the blue. It’s still not easy hearing this stuff.\u201d<\/p>\n
Clay pushes on. \u201cSteve. Nicky tried to get into that woman\u2019s building. That\u2019s what he told me. He said he got stopped by security. And then he got all quiet. He hunched over low and started picking up the glass with his bare hands; he was cutting himself, but he didn’t flinch once. I told him, \u2018Nicky, don’t worry, they\u2019ll clean it up, it’s not on you,\u2019 and he said, \u201cYeah, it is. It\u2019s my responsibility. You break it, you pay for it! When I’m out there! And it’s dark! And it\u2019s cold! And if I cut myself or if I get sick! Or if I’m hurting! There\u2019s no one. Just me.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
Steve hears Clay\u2019s voice breaking some more.<\/p>\n
\u201cThen he really scared me, Steve. Nicky said, just like this: \u2018I’m gonna hurt him, gonna find where I put that goddamn knife, and when he leaves her apartment again, I’m going to hurt him.\u2019 Then he bolted to the front of the liquor store and stopped dead in the doorway. He smiled and said, \u2018Do you still see my brother Steve? If you do see him, tell him hi for me.\u2019 He waved goodbye like some happy kid and left me there with the blood and broken glass.\u201d<\/p>\n
Steve can now really hear the sniffles and chokes. Clay is no longer trying to muffle his sounds. He is trying to say something more, but the words are getting stuck somewhere on the way out.<\/p>\n
\u201cClay, it\u2019s O.K.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut no. No, it\u2019s not. I\u2026I didn\u2019t\u2014 \u201c<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve made my peace with the Nicky situation. With that day. That was then; I had to move forward.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know. I know\u2026but I still could\u2019ve, I should\u2019ve stuck around\u2014”<\/p>\n
\u201cThey took him away; what else could you have really done?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, Steve, I mean, for you. I could\u2019ve stuck around after. It must\u2019ve been so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t do my part.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, look, you\u2019re calling me now, aren\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah. You are. And you know where the bar is, Clay. And you know what time I close up. We can look into finding him then. How does that sound?\u201d<\/p>\n
Clay choked something inaudible that Steve couldn\u2019t make out. But what Steve could make out was an exhale, long and deep.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“It\u2019s not right!” Nicky said. “It\u2019s not right! They love each other! I saw it! I saw it with my own eyes! They were going to be so beautiful, and they were going to be something great.” Then just like this, he said: “I’m gonna hurt him.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":182,"featured_media":25077,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-23489","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fiction","writer-sacha-bissonnette"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23489","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/182"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23489"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23489\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25078,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23489\/revisions\/25078"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/25077"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23489"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23489"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23489"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}