Once, in her mid-20s, she sat in the middle of an old dirty sofa on a crowded porch. The porch itself was crooked, collapsing into the earth. And even though she wasn\u2019t enrolled in college\u2014had, in fact, never even applied to college\u2014she sat there surrounded by college students, all of whom she considered friends. And\u2014in that moment\u2014she thought she was happy, but really, she was just drunk. Everyone around her sipped beer or slung back shots of rum as they chattered, and\u2014even though she didn\u2019t smoke, having herself never picked up the habit\u2014cigarette smoke twirled about her head in wispy vinelike tendrils, making her dizzier than she already was.<\/p>\n
Suddenly, in an overloud voice, she pointed at her boyfriend who sat on the armrest of the sofa beside her.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s always jerking off,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
Everyone on the porch laughed. He laughed too, with a comical sort of shrug, then took another long drag from his cigarette.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s true,\u201d he said as he blew smoke all around her. \u201cI can\u2019t help it! Sometimes I just wanna beat off, you know?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOnce,\u201d she said, \u201cwe fucked for over an hour, very hot, very intense\u2014some of the best sex I\u2019ve ever had! Then he said, I\u2019m gonna jump in the shower, and I said, okay\u2014even though I did have to pee\u2014then I fell asleep to the sound of the shower running. Only when I woke up\u2014maybe ten minutes later?\u2014I really had to go. So I run to the bathroom and open the door, only the shower\u2019s still running and the bathroom\u2019s completely steamed\u2014and there he is lying on the floor, prick bouncing in his fist!\u201d<\/p>\n
Everyone laughed again, even him. When the hoopla died down, he took one last puff from his cigarette, stubbed it out on his boot-heel, and said:<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd I said, what can I do? I can\u2019t help it, I told her, sometimes I just need to beat off!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not all you said,\u201d she said, and the cigarette smoke stung her eyes so bad she could feel them begin to water.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou also said,\u201d she said, \u201ccan you not please shut the fucking door?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
And\u2014in that moment\u2014she thought she was happy, but really, she was just drunk<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":182,"featured_media":24094,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3530],"tags":[953,927],"class_list":["post-23212","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-flash-fiction","tag-college","tag-masturbation","writer-j-s-khan"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23212","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/182"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23212"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23212\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24095,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23212\/revisions\/24095"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/24094"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23212"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23212"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23212"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}