{"id":22732,"date":"2025-11-08T07:14:27","date_gmt":"2025-11-08T12:14:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/?p=22732"},"modified":"2025-11-08T07:14:54","modified_gmt":"2025-11-08T12:14:54","slug":"monster","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/flash-fiction\/monster\/","title":{"rendered":"Monster"},"content":{"rendered":"

She lured men into her castle and forced us to watch Seasons 1 through 19 of America\u2019s Next Top Model<\/em>. It wasn\u2019t so bad, once we got used to the smell of raw meat and the odd disappearance when one of us pissed her off and the utter, brutal ruthlessness of Tyra Banks. Sure, we missed our wives, our husbands, our kids, our hobbies, our homes, and our dogs. But as a group we got along well. We set up a schedule: rotating chores in the morning, ANTM<\/em> every afternoon and evening.<\/p>\n

Before you ask, yes, any sex\u2014with the monster or each other\u2014was strictly consensual. The monster took pride in not showing favoritism either way.<\/p>\n

One night, when we were all cuddling in her tentacles, taking turns to paint her claws with blue nail polish, someone said, \u201cY’know, Jade\u2019s makeover was just cruel. Tyra likes to talk about empowerment and stuff, but she\u2019s just dehumanizing the girls for entertainment.\u201d We all murmured in agreement.<\/p>\n

The monster laughed, and, to our shock, morphed her head perfectly into the face and terrible haircut of Jade from Season 6. \u201cNow you understand why I\u2019m such a monster,” she cackled, before transforming smoothly back into her green and many-toothed self. \u201cJust kidding!\u201d<\/p>\n

That\u2019s when one of us finally asked, \u201cSo\u2026what\u2019s the point of all this? Why did you bring us here to watch America’s Next Top Model<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe point?\u201d growled the-monster-who-is-definitely-not-Jade-from-Season-6. She bit off the tip of his finger. We fell into an uncomfortable silence. On the TV, Tyra screamed, her eyes shiny with tears: \u201cI was rooting for you. We were all rooting for you! How dare you?\u201d<\/p>\n

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It wasn\u2019t so bad, once we got used to the smell of raw meat and the odd disappearance when one of us pissed her off and the utter, brutal ruthlessness of Tyra Banks.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":182,"featured_media":23665,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3530],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22732","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-flash-fiction","writer-tiff-m-z-lee"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22732","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/182"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22732"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22732\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23666,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22732\/revisions\/23666"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/23665"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22732"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22732"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22732"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}