In 2023, the Writer\u2019s Guild of America went on strike. The labor dispute caused a prolonged interruption in television and film production, disrupting projects at all stages of development.<\/p>\n
In response to the sudden drop in revenue, senior executives at Universal Studios were forced to consider all available options, and at one point even experimented with artificial intelligence software. By leveraging this new technology\u2014as well as their extensive network of business partners, such as Nintendo\u2014Paramount was able to access a deep pool of intellectual property to develop a number of contingency film scripts.<\/p>\n
After the WGA\u2019s strike came to a close, Hollywood largely returned to business as usual. And while most of these AI-generated film scripts were thankfully shelved during the earliest stages of development, the following excerpt from one such crossover project provides a fascinating insight into the brave new worlds of digital technology and mega-franchise marketing.<\/p>\n
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KART WARS (Working Title)<\/strong><\/p>\n SCENE 4:\u00a0 THE NIGHT RACE (BEFORE)<\/p>\n EXTERIOR – PARKING LOT – NIGHT<\/p>\n Dozens of characters crowd around several parked karts. LUIGI leans against the side of his kart, a sleek green Pipe Frame with Slick tires.\u00a0 He is alone, obviously out of place, looking slightly awkward among the tight-knit group of racers. YOSHI quickly takes notice of LUIGI, and walks over to introduce himself to the newcomer.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n YOSHI<\/p>\n Sweet ride.\u00a0 What you running under there, man?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n LUIGI smiles.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n YOSHI<\/p>\n Oh, you\u2019re going to make me find out the hard way?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n LUIGI<\/p>\n Hell yeah.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n YOSHI<\/p>\n You\u2019re brave!\u00a0 They call me Yoshi. Got a last name too, but I can\u2019t pronounce it, so\u2026<\/p>\n <\/p>\n LUIGI<\/p>\n Luigi.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n YOSHI<\/p>\n Yeah, typical Italian name.\u00a0 Know what I\u2019m saying?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Cut away to show a polished Mr. Scooty kart; the Slim wheels are freshly shined. Several female characters are gathered around it. Cut back to show YOSHI and LUIGI.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n YOSHI<\/p>\n See that over there?\u00a0 That\u2019s my baby.\u00a0 But I ain\u2019t cutting her loose tonight.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n LUIGI<\/p>\n Why not?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n YOSHI<\/p>\n It\u2019s cause I\u2019m going legit, homie. Heading to Tokyo next month, trying to get on the Excitebike circuit. You heard about that?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n LUIGI<\/p>\n Aw, yeah.\u00a0 Yeah.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n YOSHI<\/p>\n So what\u2019s up with you?<\/p>\n LUIGI<\/p>\n I\u2019m just waiting on Mario.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Cut away to show DONKEY KONG, also surrounded by females. He takes notice of the new arrival, leaves his groupies, and walks over.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n DONKEY KONG<\/p>\n Shit, you better get in line.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n DONKEY KONG glances down at LUIGI\u2019s kart.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n DONKEY KONG<\/p>\n This yours?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n LUIGI<\/p>\n Yeah, I\u2019m standing next to it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n DONKEY KONG laughs.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n DONKEY KONG<\/p>\n That\u2019s funny.\u00a0 You know, DK happens to know a few things. And one of the things DK knows is, it\u2019s not how you stand by your kart, it\u2019s how you race your kart that matters.\u00a0 Better learn that.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Cut away and pan out to show the main street.\u00a0 A pack of several sleek karts moves in quickly, driving in tight formation.\u00a0 Cut back to show characters.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n DONKEY KONG<\/p>\n Aw, shit.\u00a0 Here they come, it\u2019s on!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Cut away to show karts pulling to a stop. As MARIO steps out of his Standard Kart, a number of females approach him, despite a disapproving glare from PRINCESS PEACH. MARIO shakes hands with several characters; he\u2019s obviously an influential figure here.\u00a0 MARIO spots YOSHI and walks over.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n MARIO<\/p>\n All right, what do we got?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n YOSHI<\/p>\n Here we go!\u00a0 One race, two G buy in. Winner takes the cash.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n LUIGI<\/p>\n Hey, hey, I want in on this! I don\u2019t have any cash, but I do have the pink slips to my kart.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n MARIO<\/p>\n Well, look who it is!\u00a0 The Buster!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n TOAD<\/p>\n Whoa, whoa!\u00a0 You can\u2019t just show up and climb in the ring with Ali, just \u2018cause you think you can box!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n LUIGI points at BOWSER, who\u2019s standing off to the side. His black eye is obviously fresh.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n LUIGI<\/p>\n He knows I can box.\u00a0 So check it, it\u2019s like this. I lose, winner gets the keys to my kart, clean and clear. But if I win, I take the cash, and I take the respect.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n MARIO smiles, scoffs.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n MARIO<\/p>\n Respect!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n LUIGI<\/p>\n To some people, that\u2019s more important.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n MARIO seems to understand. He stops smiling and nods once.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n MARIO<\/p>\n That your car?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Cut away to show Luigi\u2019s kart, then pan across it to show the obvious modifications. As TOAD lifts the hood, the crowd gasps in awe.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n MARIO<\/p>\n What\u2019s he running under there?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n TOAD<\/p>\n I see a cool air Star intake\u2026 it\u2019s got a NOS fogger system with triple mushrooms, the T4 Turbo Super Horn, direct Blooper ink injection\u2026<\/p>\n <\/p>\n MARIO<\/p>\n Yeah, and a standalone lightning system. Not a bad way to spend 10,000 coins.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n DONKEY KONG<\/p>\n You see that shit?\u00a0 He\u2019s got enough mushrooms in there to blow himself up, period!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n LUIGI<\/p>\n So what do you say, am I worthy?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n MARIO<\/p>\n We don\u2019t know yet.\u00a0 But you\u2019re in!\u00a0 Let\u2019s go.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Crowd cheers, then rushes back to their own karts to begin staging for the night race.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n SCENE 5:\u00a0 THE NIGHT RACE (ACTION SEQUENCE)<\/p>\n PENDING CGI INPUT<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n SCENE 6:\u00a0 THE NIGHT RACE (AFTER)<\/p>\n EXTERIOR – STREET – NIGHT<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Racers and characters crowd around once again, with a number of karts parked haphazardly in the street now. Smoke streams out from underneath the hood of LUIGI\u2019s kart.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n TOAD<\/p>\n Was that fun?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n As TOAD lifts the hood of LUIGI\u2019s kart, heavy smoke billows out. Crowd laughs, jeers. LUIGI is obviously embarrassed, but still manages an awkward smile.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n MARIO<\/p>\n What are you smiling about?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n LUIGI<\/p>\n Dude, I almost had you!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Crowd laughs.\u00a0 MARIO smiles, clearly amused.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n MARIO<\/p>\n You almost had me?\u00a0 You never had me! You never had your kart!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Crowd roars with laughter again. LUIGI continues to smile good-naturedly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n MARIO<\/p>\n Flinging bananas all over the street, not aiming your green shells like you should? You\u2019re lucky that golden mushroom didn\u2019t blow the welds on the intake!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n MARIO turns, addressing the crowd now.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n MARIO<\/p>\n Almost had me?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Crowd erupts in laughter. MARIO turns back to face LUIGI.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n MARIO<\/p>\n Now me and the mad scientist here gotta rip apart the block, and replace the Bullet Bill you fried.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Pan sideways to show the full size of the crowd, while the laughter slowly dies down. Zoom in to show PRINCESS DAISY looking at LUIGI with a shy, admiring smile.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n MARIO<\/p>\n Ask any racer\u2014any real racer. It don\u2019t matter if you win by an inch, or by a mile. Winning\u2019s winning!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Cut away to show LAKITU, seated inside a Circuit Special kart and monitoring a police scanner.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n RADIO TRANSMISSION<\/p>\n Any available units, we have reported street racing along Hawthorne Street, heading\u2026<\/p>\n <\/p>\n LAKITU<\/p>\n Oh shit, we got cops, cops, cops, cops! Go!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Characters scramble away to their vehicles. A chaotic exit ensues.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" You almost had me?\u00a0 You never had me!\u00a0 You never had your kart!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":182,"featured_media":23274,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22333","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fiction","writer-james-vachowski"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22333","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/182"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22333"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22333\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23276,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22333\/revisions\/23276"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/23274"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22333"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22333"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22333"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}