My power wheelchair rolls along the smooth path of the college campus. The large fountain near the dining hall roars in the distance. It\u2019s a sound that always comforts and centers me. Orange blossoms perfume the air. My mind buzzes. Words for half-written papers. Statistics for math homework. Full of the noise of everything yet to be done.<\/p>\n
A low voice with a slight twang interrupts my thoughts. \u201cExcuse me. May I lay my hands on you?\u201d A guy in his early twenties with sandy blond hair and insistent eyes looks back at me.<\/p>\n
He clarifies, noticing my confused expression. \u201cI just want to help you. What\u2019s your name?\u201d<\/p>\n
I pause before answering. \u201cKara.\u201d<\/p>\n
He responds with a slightly pitying smile. And then I understand. This isn\u2019t my first time with this kind of thing. By help he means pray. I sometimes let people do it because it feels too complicated and rude to say, \u201cNo, thanks. I don\u2019t have time for God right now.\u201d<\/p>\n
So, I let random guy put his hands on my shoulders. They\u2019re large. I imagine they\u2019d be warm if they were in direct contact with my skin. I wonder about the noise in his head. I wonder about the type of man who believes he has a direct line to God. Direct power to heal individual people. What if I put my hands on him and slid them down his well-defined pecs? What if he didn\u2019t view me as broken?<\/p>\n
Somewhere in the distance, almost drowned out by the noise of me thinking of taking off his shirt, random guy drones on. Something about help. Something about protection. I take note of this request. \u201cLord, I ask you to heal and strengthen Kara\u2019s legs.\u201d I don\u2019t bother to tell him that cerebral palsy is actually a brain injury. Finally, he finishes. \u201cIn Jesus\u2019 name I pray.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looks at me with probing eyes again. As if he now expects me to float up out of the chair and then run a marathon. As if he expects me to say, \u201cThanks. I can\u2019t believe I never thought to ask for help with this.\u201d But I don\u2019t know what to say, so I just say, \u201cThanks.\u201d<\/p>\n
He smiles, pleased with his accomplishment. He parts from me in silence. My mind buzzes again. Full of the prayer I didn\u2019t or want need delivered by a honeyed voice. Full of thoughts of my hands sliding down random guy\u2019s body. Full of everything yet to be done. I can\u2019t hear the fountain anymore.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I wonder about the type of man who believes he has a direct line to God. Direct power to heal individual people. What if I put my hands on him and slid them down his well-defined pecs? What if he didn\u2019t view me as broken?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":182,"featured_media":23238,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3529],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22314","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-flash-nonfiction","writer-kara-kahnke"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22314","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/182"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22314"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22314\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23239,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22314\/revisions\/23239"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/23238"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22314"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22314"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22314"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}