Nine years old behind the wheel. Farm rules.<\/p>\n
Didn\u2019t need a permit when your nearest neighbor was a mile away.<\/p>\n
1987 F-150 XLT\u2014extended cab, two-tone gray. EFI 5.0 with an AOD. Just rear-wheel.<\/p>\n
Back then, it was the Cadillac model. Hell, it even had door pockets.<\/p>\n
It was my grandpa Mack\u2019s.<\/p>\n
Pretty sure he paid two grand for it in 2002\u2014secondhand, of course.<\/p>\n
He taught me how to work on things.<\/p>\n
More like how to fix them with duct tape and baling wire.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s what you do when you live in the middle of nowhere.<\/p>\n
My dad showed me how to fix things the right way\u2014usually.<\/p>\n
Mack died at 83.<\/p>\n
Grandma kept the truck going a while\u2014woods runs, trash hauls.<\/p>\n
Couple of summers I went down to fix things.<\/p>\n
Rattle-canned the hood primer gray.<\/p>\n
(Yeah, what a great fix. Thanks, teenage me.)<\/p>\n
After a few years, it fell into disrepair.<\/p>\n
Sat in the gravel driveway for at least seven.<\/p>\n
Then one day, Grandma called me.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m gonna give it to that nice high school boy. He keeps asking about it at church.\u201d<\/p>\n
Um\u2014no the fuck you aren\u2019t.<\/p>\n
I went down there that day.<\/p>\n
Grandma told me how the boy was polite. Handy.<\/p>\n
I didn\u2019t answer.<\/p>\n
Didn\u2019t have to.<\/p>\n
Brought all the usual bullshit things Fords need: fuel pump.<\/p>\n
Always the goddamn fuel pump.<\/p>\n
Every time with these 8th gens and their stupid fuel system.<\/p>\n
Fuck those tank switchers. I bypass their ass every time.<\/p>\n
Fuel pump in. Fires right up. Horribly.<\/p>\n
I mean, barely running\u2014like a cartoon.<\/p>\n
Struck up a deal with a local hotshot hauler.<\/p>\n
Managed to barely get it on the trailer under its own power.<\/p>\n
She just waved, small.<\/p>\n
Like she was letting go of something heavy.<\/p>\n
I cried.<\/p>\n
Didn\u2019t plan to. Didn\u2019t try not to.<\/p>\n
Got it home to my place the next day, and the project began.<\/p>\n
First, Heineken, and a Camel.<\/p>\n
Old man would be proud.<\/p>\n
Or wonder why it was only 9 a.m.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
It was bad:<\/p>\n
Immediately take Senator Sawzall to the muffler (fuck yeah).<\/p>\n
Feel better.<\/p>\n
Fuel pump. All three.<\/p>\n
Fuel filter.<\/p>\n
Remove rear tank\u2014fucked.<\/p>\n
Replace front tank.<\/p>\n
Rewire fuel pump connections.<\/p>\n
Have a third fuel pump I can\u2019t do anything with. FUCK.<\/p>\n
Water pump.<\/p>\n
Timing chain\u2014still had the OG plastic gear one. So much sludge it almost started playing Pantera.<\/p>\n
Break the timing chain cover someone (Mack) had Heli coiled.<\/p>\n
New timing cover\u2014pain in the ass on a 302.<\/p>\n
Power steering pump and pulley.<\/p>\n
New tires (the old ones looked like an Arizona parking lot).<\/p>\n
Oil changed three times.<\/p>\n
Three oil filters.<\/p>\n
Weld in Flow master 10, run duals out behind the tires\u2014cowboy cut, baby.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Interior smelled like Caney Creek mud and Mack\u2019s Kents.<\/p>\n
Perfect.<\/p>\n
Radio worked: Dire Straits\u2013Money for Nothing<\/em>.<\/p>\n Cigarette lighter worked: Click. Pop.<\/em> Another one of God\u2019s cigarettes burned to the butt.<\/p>\n Key in. Click<\/em>. Classic Ford starter sound.<\/p>\n 5.0 caught, roared a mighty song\u2014releasing years of pent-up bald eagles in a fury that would hunt down small animals without mercy.<\/p>\n We had to make a trip.<\/p>\n Slip into drive.<\/p>\n Right after the most badass guitar riff of all time and the drums kick in with bass so hard it\u2019ll make your head spin.<\/p>\n Full throttle.<\/p>\n Full brake.<\/p>\n Full burnout.<\/p>\n Rear end posi still works. Beautiful.<\/p>\n Smoke coming in the cab.<\/p>\n Neighbors mad as fuck.<\/p>\n Children screaming.<\/p>\n 5.0 screaming louder.<\/p>\n Feeling like the baddest motherfucker in town.<\/p>\n BOOM.<\/p>\n Karma.<\/p>\n U-joint let go and joined Voyager II in orbit.<\/p>\n Spent the rest of the afternoon with Heinekens and pressing in new U-joints.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n This was the kind of drive it was built for.<\/p>\n I needed more oil.<\/p>\n Okay\u2014I needed more beer.<\/p>\n But I also got some extra oil while I was there.<\/p>\n Notice anything wrong with that list?<\/p>\n Yeah. No mention of looking at the brakes.<\/p>\n On the drive home, I hear scraping.<\/p>\n Turn up the radio. \u201cNutshell\u201d by Alice in Chains. DJ\u2019s trying to kill me today.<\/p>\n Now the scraping\u2019s louder than the radio.<\/p>\n Pull over.<\/p>\n Front passenger wheel smoking. Grease catches fire. FUCK.<\/p>\n No fire extinguisher.<\/p>\n Case of beer.<\/p>\n Sigh.<\/p>\n Lit a cigarette off the burning wheel. Didn\u2019t say a word.<\/p>\n Reluctantly throw a beer into the wheel well.<\/p>\n Finally get the wreck home. Four beers short.<\/p>\n Still runs.<\/p>\n Brakes work now.<\/p>\n Mostly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n – Dedicated to Mack<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Grandpa’s truck just waved, small. Like she was letting go of something heavy. I cried. Didn\u2019t plan to. Didn\u2019t try not to. Got her home to my place and the project began. First, Heineken, and a Camel. Old man would be proud. Or wonder why it was only 9 a.m.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":182,"featured_media":23617,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3530],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22293","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-flash-fiction","writer-wade-harris"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22293","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/182"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22293"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22293\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23618,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22293\/revisions\/23618"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/23617"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22293"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22293"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22293"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Real First Drive<\/h5>\n