\u201cBinod, man, it\u2019s our last night in college. About time you told us why you broke up with Sukanya.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe broke up. I didn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah. Whatever. Tell us now. We got all night and I don\u2019t think power\u2019s gonna be back anytime soon.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou guys pulling an all-nighter?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSure we are. Go on now. Here, grab a beer.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay. So you guys know she was into me from the beginning?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s what you said.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe totally was. That night she texted me twice. I said, see I don\u2019t want to come into a relationship with you due to my flirtatious nature, because I don\u2019t want to hurt you, and I don\u2019t think this should affect our friendship in any way.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIf only you had the balls to speak this much at that interview you botched today\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou guys sleeping? Son of a bitch! Who am I telling the story to?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFuckers are listening to granny\u2019s lullaby. Show some respect, bitches! Binod\u2019s pouring his heart out. Shivam, Vivek, Shrikanth, Dharmesh? Y\u2019all asleep?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cVivek\u2019s chatting with his Irene Adler. Shivam\u2019s talking to his girlfriend.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShivam\u2019s on a call? His voice ain\u2019t coming out of\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOut of where?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBinod\u2019s voice comes out of his butthole.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFucker!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGuys, c\u2019mon! Binod, you carry on mate.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWill Binod ever move on from December 2012?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe world didn\u2019t end in 2012, but reason surely left his body when he fell for that girl.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShrikanth once asked Dharmesh how he met his girlfriend. Motherfucker went on and on till the cock roosted at dawn.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBinod\u2019s has stopped roosting since 2012.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019re lucky Binod\u2019s already at the end of 2012. One more year to cover.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo problem, guys. I\u2019ll give you the gist only.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n
So then I told her it won\u2019t be possible for me. Hey, Anubhav, what you doin\u2019 with that phone, you fucker?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNothing, bro. Just Facebook.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShow me your phone. You\u2019re recording, you bitch!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSwear I\u2019m not!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah? I\u2019m gonna make you run around college naked with that phone up your ass if I catch you with the recorder on!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe story, will you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201c\u2018Course. Then I said no at that time. Time passed. She asked again in January. No, I think it was February. Propose Day. She asked me to propose. I said no, my answer\u2019s still no.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou pick \u2018No\u2019 for every MCQ?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s the NOTA guy in elections.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen god knows what came over me on the 14th. I wished her Happy Valentine\u2019s Day and said okay, I\u2019ll accept your proposal but I\u2019d still say I\u2019m not quite sure about this, I need more time, don\u2019t think of it as serious yet. She said alright\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot serious? You like it casual? Like for every \u2018action,’ there\u2019s no reaction? Newton would be turning\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMotherfucker!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cChill! What else did she say?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe said alright, I can give you two years max, can wait for two years only.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTwo bloody years?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat day I realised this one\u2019s different. A girl who can wait for two years\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cA girl who can spend her 731 nights waiting…\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201c731?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201c2012 was a leap year, bro.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSon of an accountant!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe ain\u2019t the college fest\u2019s registration head for nothing!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, fucker fooled the college big time. No wonder his wallet never runs out of cash.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe story, for god\u2019s sake!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, bro, my eyes are droopy. See?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBloody actor! So, the night before the engineering entrance test, I was in deep shit. Totally blanked out. Bloody brain not working. 2 plus 2 looked 22. So I called her at around 11:30. Said I can\u2019t study, my brain\u2019s fried, exam\u2019s fucked now. She kept her books aside and comforted me till 2 in the morning. Said don\u2019t worry, the test will be just fine.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJust fine my ass! How\u2019d it be \u2018just fine\u2019 if you\u2019re doing babu shona at 2 in the morning?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFor fuck\u2019s sake man! Could you let me finish one bloody sentence?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSure, moron. Go on.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI scored 150 that year. Cut-off was 180, so I didn\u2019t qualify.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201c180 my ass! That year\u2019s cut-off was 229.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m talkin\u2019 about 2013, not 2012. I repeated a year.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI got 186 that year.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI got 6 in 2012.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTopped from the bottom!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNext year I got 199.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHoly shit! What did you eat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTook classes at Shiksha Mandir. They have branches all over India.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo this Shiksha Mandir was selling groceries the year you scored 6?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLet him tell the story, guys! Binod, you go on mate.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen I realised how this girl had sacrificed so much for me, and I too started having feelings for her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnubhav?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYup.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSleepin\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNah.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m gonna crash. Wake me up when The Book of Binod ends.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, bitch. You must be tired from the pounding I gave you from behind all night.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLeave him be, man. Binod, tell us what happened next.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMarch came to an end. Results were out. In May I planned a birthday surprise for her. We were still in a long-distance relationship at that time. Then something happened in between.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIn between?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI mean in April. We hadn\u2019t met at that time.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen how did it happen in between?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou fuckers!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, okay, pray tell.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat happened is that… there\u2019s this friend of mine\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe in-between thing happened with your girlfriend and your friend? He must be a close friend.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was a girl, for god\u2019s sake! My friend was a she. So, a little bit here and there happened with her and me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou fuckin\u2019 player!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t have sex, guys!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s a little bit here and there, then? Felt her over her clothes?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMotherfuckers! We just kissed. That\u2019s all!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou kissed her friend?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMy friend!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou did?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWho else, you morons?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou mean you fooled around with another girl, right?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy is it that all stupid girls fall for you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSon of a\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, do one thing. You have had about half a dozen flings. Show us the girls\u2019 photos.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t have the first one\u2019s. The second one I knew from high school.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShow us. Not those photos, of course.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI swear I don\u2019t have any photos. The second one, she was my official girlfriend.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s an official girlfriend?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe had formally proposed to each other, had met each other\u2019s parents.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo you signed a MoU.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBitch please! Let him continue.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI felt really bad that day. Burning with guilt and shame and all. I called her in the evening, told her I\u2019d failed her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou told her you did a little bit here and there with the other girl?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI did. She cried a lot.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow did it happen all of a sudden with this friend of yours?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe had had a break-up.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd you dragged your ass over to be her shoulder.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI was just trying to console her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSome consoling you did.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt happened after May. She had had a break-up in April. No, June comes after May. Yes, she had dumped her boyfriend in June. She was home for summer break, alone that day. Her parents were at work. I was consoling her when it just… kinda… happened.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOur brother here won the sweetest consolation prize, guys!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI did tell her I was in a relationship. Then she gave me\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe gave it to you? Wow, man!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cA piece of her mind! That\u2019s what she gave me, fuckers! Her face fell when she heard I\u2019m seeing someone. She told me that after her boyfriend, it was I she thought of as her closest confidant.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cClose you were, sure. Sitting in her lap doing a little bit here and there.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe said she couldn\u2019t share me with other women.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDidn\u2019t have Bluetooth?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFuck you guys! Be serious. It\u2019s a girl\u2019s feelings we\u2019re talking about.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFeelings you consoled?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI said what the hell, if she had feelings for me she could have told me earlier. I was chewing Happydent Spearmint Sugarfree when it happened.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTasted sugar nevertheless.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cA cold kiss it must\u2019ve been.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201c\u2018Colder than an ex-wife\u2019s kiss.\u2019 Ian Rankin begins one of his stories\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFuck Ian Fleming! So I told her, my girlfriend that is, that I had crossed a line.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat exactly happened between you and that girl?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTold you guys! Just a kiss.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPaint a picture.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat picture?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cA blue picture.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBitch please!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFine, just tell us what you remember.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t remember it well, but it happened all of a sudden. I told my girlfriend. She cried for 48 hours.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou had a stopwatch?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou want to listen or not?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, sorry. Pray tell. Must be a keeper. Cried for two business days only.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe said the same old stuff\u2014all men are pigs and how she\u2019d never imagined I\u2019d turn out just like the others. Hurt me a lot.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMotherfucker, it was you who kissed the other girl, and you got hurt?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe cried all night. I too was upset. So I also cried. I tried to talk to her, asked a friend of mine to calm her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOutsourced the job. Smooth.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe calmed down after a lot of effort.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy are you scratching your balls?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re into my story or my balls?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s a cock and ball story.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cC\u2019mon, guys! Binod, tell us what happened next.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, so there came a huge problem in between.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhose in between? Her or your? Or the other girl\u2019s?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe talked me into giving her my Facebook password.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cRest in peace, brother.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen she read my chats.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBinod was a loving son\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI hadn\u2019t fooled around with any girl\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201c… friendly neighbour\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI just skipped the part where you tell someone you have a girlfriend.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201c… and a good friend.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI had no bad intentions, I swear!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe loved kitties. God\u2019s favourite child\u2014Binod.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe couldn\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou should have consoled her into understanding you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI have this habit of generally being nice to women. \u2018Darling\u2019 and \u2018Sweetheart\u2019 are on the tip of my tongue. She made a big deal out of my Facebook chats. Said what\u2019s this hanky-panky you\u2019re up to? Why do you say love you to girls not me? I said they\u2019re just friends, what\u2019s the big deal?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou say I love you to your female friends?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPlatonic love, man. What\u2019s the problem?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSure, opposite of tectonic love, where you grind bases with your loved one.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo things were slowly getting better. Then another problem came in between.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy do all of your problems occur in between? Sure you don\u2019t wanna see a doctor?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThings got better. Then came the ego clashes. She had an attitude, man.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou gave her the Attitude Adjustment?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI tried a lot to adjust. She was too straightforward. I wasn\u2019t. She\u2019d say things in front of my friends. Embarrassing things. Then my friends would call me her Pok\u00e9mon. Once I promised to take her out for ice skating. I couldn\u2019t. I had exams. Then she wouldn\u2019t take my calls. So I called her friend.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cA female friend, I suppose?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, I told her friend how I missed my girl.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe consoled you? The friend?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTold her friend how I was gonna take my girl to the skating rink, but exams came in between.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBloody hell, man! There\u2019s some real funny business going on with your in between. No wonder she dumped your ass.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNah. Why she broke up with me, that I don\u2019t know. I\u2019ve been trying to think about it for years. Still don\u2019t know why she dumped me.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The world didn\u2019t end in 2012, but reason surely left his body when he fell for that girl. Shrikanth once asked Dharmesh how he met his girlfriend. Motherfucker went on and on till the cock roosted at dawn. Binod\u2019s has stopped roosting since 2012.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":182,"featured_media":21204,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20755","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fiction","writer-ankit-raj-ojha"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20755","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/182"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20755"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20755\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21205,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20755\/revisions\/21205"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/21204"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20755"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20755"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20755"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}