This is the kicky accessory that conceals my minuscule package. I make no effort to hide the truth\u2014well, that\u2019s not true. When it matters, I go above and beyond. God, in all his wisdom, grants to us our due, they say. A smallish package resists lament if God has graced one with manifold other gifts, such as beauty, wealth, intelligence, or a modicum of fame. I opened a letter sent to me by a fan and out of it fluttered pressed and blackening rose petals and a whiff of death. \u201cDear sir,\u201d it said. \u201cIn town for a conference and would love to spend some time with you.\u201d Oh really? The female letter writer included an unflattering headshot. Not that I\u2019m superficial that way. A beautiful soul surpasses surfaces. A beautiful soul lights up the world. I sent her back a photograph of myself wearing my favorite vermillion silk tie. She responded quickly and stated thus: \u201cYou remind me of someone I used to know: A man lacking seriousness.\u201d I wondered how she\u2019d arrived at that conclusion. She ghosted me soon after, and following a span of intense internal fusion and fission, I grew as serious as the sun.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Johnny Fingernagel said his father wore the ugly helmet during the big war. Tall and mean, his father had ice blue eyes that cut you. Then Johnny asked if my father had fought in the war. I told him my uncle had died in it, so my father didn\u2019t have to fight. He asked if my father was yellow. \u201cNo,\u201d I said. \u201cMy father can kill your father,\u201d he said. \u201cHe killed lots of people in the war,\u201d he added. \u201cSaid it was nothing.\u201d Johnny and his father concerned me. I began to obsess that they were planning to kill my father. One day in the park, kicking around a soccer ball with some pals, Johnny appeared. I warned him to leave me alone or he\u2019d be sorry. \u201cMy father\u2019s going to kill your father tonight,\u201d he said. I punched him in the nose and it bled like a hose. Later, my father took the belt to my behind. He didn\u2019t call it a beating. He called a heating. \u201cYou need a little heating, son,\u201d he said and he gave me one. \u201cI was only trying to save your life!\u201d I cried, hoping that a righteous God would paralyze him.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Johnny asked if my father had fought in the war. I told him my uncle had died in it, so my father didn\u2019t have to fight. He asked if my father was yellow. \u201cNo,\u201d I said. \u201cMy father can kill your father,\u201d he said. \u201cHe killed lots of people in the war,\u201d he added. \u201cSaid it was nothing.\u201d I became concerned Johnny and his father were planning to kill my father.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":182,"featured_media":20507,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3530],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20060","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-flash-fiction","writer-salvatore-difalco"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20060","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/182"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20060"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20060\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20508,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20060\/revisions\/20508"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20507"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20060"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20060"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20060"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}