Stan and Linda Masters had a party.<\/p>\n
There were no drugs. It wasn\u2019t that kind of party. They weren\u2019t those kinds of Masters.<\/p>\n
They invited two guests only, Gale and Mark. They lived in the neighborhood. Stan and Linda didn\u2019t know their last names. They hardly knew them at all.<\/p>\n
They brought a bottle of red wine to the Masters\u2019 house.<\/p>\n
But Stan and Linda had already opened a bottle when their guests arrived. It was a cabernet that cost $5.99. Stan had found it in the wine discount bin, at the grocery store, near the wine aisle.<\/p>\n
They ate dinner and drank wine. The food was horrible. Stan and Linda served five things. All five came from different cuisines, and they were awful: sushi with brown rice and canned tuna; naan bread that tasted like fish. Gale spent the better part of dinner in the bathroom, not because she had to go, but because if she went there no one would ask why she wasn\u2019t eating.<\/p>\n
Neither she nor Mark said a thing about how bad the food was. They wanted to be good guests, and not insult their hosts.<\/p>\n
When dinner was over, Mark said, \u201cHere we are, folks. We\u2019re done with dinner. There\u2019s no dessert. We have drunk one bottle of wine, and on the table we have another, which is full.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can open it,\u201d said Stan, \u201cas that would appear to be the most appropriate action.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d said Mark. \u201cDon\u2019t do that. I mean, yeah. You could. It\u2019s an option.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s definitely possible,\u201d said Linda.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe live in a world of possibilities,\u201d said Stan.<\/p>\n
Mark held up one hand. He smiled and said, \u201cI was going to suggest we play a game. Spin the Bottle?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were going to suggest it,\u201d said Stan, \u201cor you are suggesting it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBy saying I would suggest it,\u201d Mark said, \u201cI have suggested it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI love this,\u201d said Linda.<\/p>\n
Mark was like a magician, but with words.<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought,\u201d said Stan, \u201cyou were supposed to play Spin the Bottle with an empty bottle. And we put the first wine bottle in the recycling bin already.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mark said, \u201cNo rule says you cannot use a full bottle, such as this one.\u201d<\/p>\n
He held up the full bottle. It came from the same winery that produced the red zinfandel \u201cSeven Deadly Zins.\u201d This one was called \u201cZinners in the Hands of an Angry God.\u201d<\/p>\n
Linda wanted to stop and check the rulebook, to see if using a full bottle would delegitimize their game of Spin the Bottle.<\/p>\n
She knew she had a universal rulebook somewhere in the house. Or she could look up the rules online.<\/p>\n
But she wanted the neighbors, these virtual strangers, to like her. She wanted them to think she was cool. She wanted them to want to be her friend, and so she didn\u2019t look up any rules.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Throughout history, basically, people have been playing games.<\/p>\n
In Egypt\u2014ancient Egypt\u2014they played a game called Senet. It was a little board game that fit in a box. It had three rows of ten spaces. The spaces were on top of the box, and the pieces went inside, so Cleopatra wouldn\u2019t lose them.<\/p>\n
Egyptians played Mehen, too, and Hounds of Jackals.<\/p>\n
They played games constantly, because they were drunk pretty much all the time.<\/p>\n
Not very many people know that about ancient Egyptians.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Stan, Linda, Mark, and Gale went to the living room. They sat on the floor.<\/p>\n
Mark sat back and said, \u201cI\u2019m not gonna lie. I don\u2019t have an erection, but moments like this make the end of my penis feel fuzzy. Like, tingly. Just a little.\u201d He nudged Gale. \u201cIt\u2019s like when I saw Winona Ryder was on that show? I told you about that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t have an erection, either,\u201d Stan said.<\/p>\n
But somehow, when he mentioned his flaccid penis, it didn\u2019t come off the way it did when Mark mentioned his. There was something about Mark that kept him above the fray.<\/p>\n
Linda went first. Mark insisted she go first. She was the hostess.<\/p>\n
She took a deep breath and spun the bottle.<\/p>\n
When it stopped, it pointed back at herself. Everyone laughed.<\/p>\n
\u201cSpin again?\u201d said Gale.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d said Linda, \u201cI can take this on.\u201d<\/p>\n
The others watched as she sucked her own fingers and licked her own hands. She licked and sucked her arm, her elbow crook, her leg, and the sole of her foot. She made lots of lip and tongue sounds before she gave up at last and said, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, guys. I\u2019m just not getting any passion out of this.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMy dear,\u201d said Mark. \u201cYou\u2019ve done wonderfully. Let me take my turn.\u201d<\/p>\n
He spun the bottle. When it stopped, it pointed at Linda.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell,\u201d said Linda, \u201cthis should be easier.\u201d<\/p>\n
Stan watched as Mark and Linda\u2019s faces met and they licked each other\u2019s tongues. Their mouths slorped together and they sucked lips and bit lips, too. They didn\u2019t touch below the neck, but they kissed a long time and even drooled some.<\/p>\n
When it was over, it was Stan\u2019s turn.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re going to love this, babe,\u201d Linda said. \u201cThis is a great game.\u201d<\/p>\n
When Stan spun the bottle, it pointed at Linda.<\/p>\n
\u201cWow!\u201d she said. \u201cIt\u2019s my lucky night.\u201d<\/p>\n
Stan kissed her with passion, for at least five minutes.<\/p>\n
Gale\u2019s turn was next. She spun the bottle as hard as she could, and when it came to a stop it pointed at Linda.<\/p>\n
\u201cHat trick!\u201d Linda cried.<\/p>\n
Linda\u2019s and Gale\u2019s kiss lasted a while. Linda took Gale in her arms as Gale, halfway through the extended kiss, lay atop Linda\u2019s legs, leaning back so Linda could hold her and slorp her mouth and neck.<\/p>\n
Stan asked Mark, while they watched, what he thought of the recent slate of city ordinances on sidewalks and trash collection that had passed despite the public outcry. \u201cI mean,\u201d he said, \u201cwhen I saw the one about the maximum number of trashcans we can have within city limits I almost lost my mind.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mark didn\u2019t seem to know what Stan was talking about.<\/p>\n
He had his hand down his pants. He was watching the women kiss and stroking himself.<\/p>\n
The kiss ended. Linda\u2019s face was red. She was breathing hard. She looked a little embarrassed, but she was clearly turned on.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s time for round two,\u201d Gale said, grinning, flushed with passion. \u201cAnd there\u2019s a new rule.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThis round?\u201d Mark said. \u201cOnly the one who spins the bottle uses their lips.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry?\u201d said Stan. \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhoever spins the bottle,\u201d Gale explained, \u201ckisses whatever part of the other person\u2019s body they want.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay,\u201d said Stan. \u201cBut what if somebody wants to kiss another person\u2019s lips? And, like, tongue? Like before?\u201d<\/p>\n
Mark shrugged. \u201cYou can do that. It\u2019s allowed.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut that\u2019s not the idea, really,\u201d Gale said.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut it\u2019s permitted,\u201d said Stan, \u201cis it not?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt is permitted,\u201d Mark said.<\/p>\n
Stan nodded, visibly satisfied.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
People all over the world have been visibly satisfied for decades. Benito Mussolini was visibly satisfied.<\/p>\n
A lot of dictators are visibly satisfied, mostly with themselves, right up until they get strung up on lampposts, or shot in the head, or whatever.<\/p>\n
But everyday people get visibly satisfied, too, when they smoke weed and watch TV, and when they mow their lawns and observe how good their lawns look and smell that green lawn smell.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Round Two of Spin the Bottle began.<\/p>\n
Mark went first. He spun!<\/p>\n
When the bottle stopped spinning, it pointed at Linda.<\/p>\n
\u201cWow,\u201d said Linda. \u201cThis is my night.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah,\u201d said Mark. \u201cSomething\u2019s up.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cChoose a place!\u201d said Linda.<\/p>\n
\u201cI choose thigh,\u201d he said. \u201cRight thigh.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m wearing jeans,\u201d Linda said.<\/p>\n
\u201cThen you\u2019ll have to take them off,\u201d said Gale.<\/p>\n
Linda shrugged, stood, and took off her pants. She had on red shorts. \u201cGood thing I shaved,\u201d she said, and Mark crawled forward and pressed his lips and tongue against the inside of her right thigh.<\/p>\n
It was just as he\u2019d promised. He kissed and licked that thigh and got it all wet with saliva that smelled a little like wine, a lot like Mark\u2019s mouth. He held onto her legs with his hands like she was an altar he sought to defile with his face. Linda looked down at him, watched him lick and suck and kiss. His face traveled up and down the inside of her leg.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhew,\u201d Linda said when it was over.<\/p>\n
When Stan spun the bottle next, he got Linda again.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s really always Linda, isn\u2019t it?\u201d said Gale.<\/p>\n
\u201cI choose breasts,\u201d Stan said. \u201cLemme at \u2018em.\u201d<\/p>\n
Linda took off her shirt and bra, and Stan alligatored over there and licked and sucked a while, a little too long, really, considering they had company, and that he must have done this before. Right? Mark wondered if they should have established a time limit, maybe used a plastic hourglass, like the one that comes with Pictionary.<\/p>\n
When it was Gale\u2019s turn to spin again, again she got Linda.<\/p>\n
\u201cSeriously,\u201d Gale said. \u201cIs the floor uneven?\u201d<\/p>\n
But she didn\u2019t really mind. She liked Linda.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll show you where my kiss will go,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
Linda was wearing only those red shorts. Gale pulled them off her hips and down her legs. She pressed Linda\u2019s chest gently with one hand so she lay back on the hardwood floor. She descended to her vulva, and with her tongue she found Linda\u2019s clitoris. She stroked it gently with her tongue, stroked it harder, moaned while Linda rubbed Gale\u2019s scalp rhythmically with the fingers of one hand. Linda nearly came as she lay there on the floor before Gale pulled away, hand to her mouth, laughing, looking Linda in the eyes, about to remove her own shirt and really get things started.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis was really fun,\u201d said Stan. \u201cWe\u2019ve got other games, too.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sure you do,\u201d said Mark.<\/p>\n
\u201cHere,\u201d Stan said. \u201cOne second.\u201d<\/p>\n
He left the room.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
We are living in a golden age of board games. People who grew up on Monopoly and Life, Go and Othello, can today, in adulthood, play elaborate board games that simulate the growth patterns of forests, the development of railroad monopolies, the settlement of continents.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s a Chinese lantern festival game. There\u2019s a game that\u2019s based on quilting.<\/p>\n
If an Egyptian guy\u2014an ancient Egyptian guy\u2014saw how many board games there are now, he\u2019d lose his shit.<\/p>\n
All his life, all he had to play were Mehen, Twenty Squares, Hounds of Jackals, and that other one from before. It was a nightmare.<\/p>\n
Today he could play Endless Winter, Zombie Dawn, Ambush!, Vikings Gone Wild, Caverna, Lewis and Clark: the Expedition, Nautilus.<\/p>\n
And that\u2019s just the beginning. It\u2019s unreal.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
When Stan returned to the room, he carried colorful boxes with nice designs on them.<\/p>\n
There were board games inside. One was Patchwork, the quilting game.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere\u2019s this one game, Kodama,\u201d he said, \u201cthat we haven\u2019t even opened yet. I think you build a tree in it?\u201d<\/p>\n
Gale grinned. She began to crawl across the floor to Stan. \u201cHow about,\u201d she said, \u201cwe play Taste the Neighbor\u2019s Wife on Your Lips?\u201d<\/p>\n
Stan said, \u201cWhat are the rules?\u201d<\/p>\n
She started to laugh, but he was serious.<\/p>\n
She blinked up at him.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s what I thought,\u201d Stan said. \u201cThere\u2019s this other game, Goblins Go Home. It\u2019s a dexterity game. That means, like, you have to do things like launch pieces over other pieces. Some people insist a game like that is for kids, but I say that\u2019s not true at all. Not at all.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cStan,\u201d Mark said, unbuttoning his shorts, reaching in, pulling out his thick, hard cock, \u201cwe\u2019re not here to play those kinds of games.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh,\u201d Stan said. \u201cThat\u2019s all right.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mark kept stroking himself, watching Gale take off her shirt.<\/p>\n
Stan said, \u201cThere\u2019s nothing to be afraid of. These games are kind of complicated, but they\u2019re easy to learn if someone\u2019s played before.\u201d<\/p>\n
He opened one called Public Registry and dumped the pieces on the floor. It was loud.<\/p>\n
\u201cFirst,\u201d he said, \u201cwe have to get all the pieces organized, and sort the currency. The game uses Euros, I guess because Germans made it? Each player is a public servant at the registry office. Right? And the land title claims come in fast. It\u2019s turn-based, so it won\u2019t get out of hand, but it\u2019s a hectic game, and you have to pay attention.\u201d<\/p>\n
Linda had put her shorts back on, and her shirt. \u201cThis will be great,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you sure?\u201d said Gale. Her shirt was off. She\u2019d been about to unhook her bra.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong?\u201d asked Linda, pulling on her jeans. \u201cWe thought you wanted to be friends.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mark, whose fat, hard cock was still hanging out the top of his shorts, said, \u201cWe do want to be your friends. We kind of, though, you know, thought we could be more than that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLike acquaintances?\u201d asked Linda.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, babe,\u201d Stan said. \u201cFriends are better than acquaintances. He means they want to be best friends.\u201d<\/p>\n
Gale said, \u201cNo. I mean, maybe. But what we were really talking about was being intimate together. Not sharing secrets, but being physically intimate.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you swingers?\u201d asked Stan.<\/p>\n
\u201cAren\u2019t you?\u201d laughed Mark.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo way,\u201d Stan said. \u201cI mean, it\u2019s kind of appealing. But I\u2019ve got a jealous streak. You know?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s true,\u201d Linda said, still flushed from the cunnilingus she\u2019d enjoyed a couple minutes prior. \u201cStan is a sensitive man. He can\u2019t help it. His dad was a bully, so it\u2019s connected to that. Like, a lot.\u201d<\/p>\n
Stan pointed at Linda and nodded. \u201cShe knows me better than I know myself.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut Stan,\u201d said Gale. \u201cA minute ago, Linda was naked. I almost made her come with my mouth. You watched me do it. I think Mark had his dick out half the time.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI did,\u201d he said. \u201cIt was out.\u201d<\/p>\n
Gale said, \u201cYou don\u2019t seem like you\u2019re jealous about that, Stan. Not at all. You guys might actually be swingers.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat wasn\u2019t swinging, though,\u201d said Stan. \u201cThat was Spin the Bottle.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mark\u2019s erection was gone. Everyone saw.<\/p>\n
He pulled his penis back into his shorts.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re not wrong,\u201d Mark said. \u201cI guess. But I don\u2019t get it. I was sucking on Linda\u2019s leg for a while, man. And Gale was going to town on her pussy. Linda\u2019s clitoris was swollen like an engorged tick, or something.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay,\u201d said Linda. \u201cI\u2019m not crazy about that simile.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah,\u201d said Stan. \u201cThis isn\u2019t Simile Crackdown. Though we do have that, if you want to play.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe really don\u2019t,\u201d said Gale. \u201cWe\u2019re not as into games as you. We thought Spin the Bottle would be a good way to get things going. You know?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat explains a lot,\u201d said Stan. \u201cI thought it was weird when you wanted to play Spin the Bottle. It\u2019s such a limited game. You know? I mean, a lot of good games rely on randomness for the generation of tension and intrigue, where you roll dice, or whatever. But with Spin the Bottle, that\u2019s all it is. It\u2019s just random. There\u2019s no currency system, you don\u2019t level up. Who even wins?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cEverybody wins,\u201d said Gale.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d he said. \u201cI don\u2019t feel like I\u2019ve won anything. Whereas, at the end of a good game of Public Registry, there\u2019s a clear winner. It\u2019s whoever\u2019s filed the most commercial records and land titles. That\u2019s who wins.\u201d<\/p>\n
Gale said, \u201cI think you\u2019re missing the point, here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI think it\u2019s Stan who has the point,\u201d Linda said. \u201cI mean, did I like how our game of Spin the Bottle went? Yes. I did. I love that kind of attention. I\u2019ve never been with another woman before tonight, and I think it went well. But do I have that feeling of euphoria one gets after playing a well-made, engrossing game?\u201d<\/p>\n
She shrugged and shook her head.<\/p>\n
\u201cShould I have kept going?\u201d Gale asked her. \u201cI don\u2019t get it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou could have kept going,\u201d Linda said. \u201cBut still I think I would be lacking right now the sort of frisson one gets on a good game night. That unique blend of joy and suspense. Do you know what I mean?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know what you mean,\u201d Mark said. To Gale, he said, \u201cWe should go.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay,\u201d said Stan. \u201cAre you sure, though? We\u2019re up for Kodama, still. Or something shorter, like Phillip Trainsdale? You have to take turns moving Mr. Trainsdale around the board, to collect ice cream. It is intense, though.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGuys,\u201d said Gale, standing with her shirt back on. \u201cIt\u2019s okay.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
People have been saying things are okay when they\u2019re plainly not okay for a long time.<\/p>\n
Benito Mussolini said things were okay. He said it in Italian. But with that guy, things were never okay.<\/p>\n
Sometimes, though, things really are okay. Things aren\u2019t always so bad.<\/p>\n
There is still justice in the world. There is still beauty.<\/p>\n
We\u2019ve had to squint our eyes to see it, lately. But it\u2019s there.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
When their guests were gone, Linda said, \u201cThey were nice. Should we invite them tomorrow?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTo the orgy?\u201d Stan said. \u201cI was wondering that, too. I don\u2019t think so, though.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMe neither.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMark\u2019s got a monster cock, but they\u2019re uptight. Did you see how he turned his nose up at Public Registry?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI couldn\u2019t believe it. It\u2019s Public Registry, people!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know you hate it when I say this, but\u2014\u201d and in unison they said, \u201csome people are just unbelievable.\u201d<\/p>\n
They laughed and laughed.<\/p>\n
They played three rounds of Portnoy\u2019s Penguins and called it a night.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
People all over the world have been visibly satisfied for decades. Benito Mussolini was visibly satisfied. A lot of dictators are visibly satisfied, mostly with themselves, right up until they get strung up on lampposts, or shot in the head, or whatever.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":182,"featured_media":20277,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19717","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fiction","writer-robert-long-foreman"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19717","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/182"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19717"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19717\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20278,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19717\/revisions\/20278"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20277"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19717"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19717"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19717"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}