This early in the day the bastion of porta-potties stands largely idle and underutilized.<\/p>\n
Inside, it\u2019s cramped and clammy. Don\u2019t touch, don\u2019t inhale. It\u2019s where I tug things in place and check the flow of my hair. All looks good to the selfie-camera. Rightly accessorized, I feel ready to wing it.<\/p>\n
No steps nearby or voices. The long calm before the onslaught of concertgoers seeking merciful release at the big-ass seashore event.<\/p>\n
Exiting, I feel an exciting tingle. On the boardwalk, energetic riffs by some Indie newbies drift over from the faraway Beach Stage. A competent bounce inhabits my walk, and I can taste it. My moment of Foo.<\/p>\n
First, a woman\u2019s restrained shriek, her companion\u2019s Oh-My-God whisper. I subtly smile behind my cool sunglasses, casually strutting on as cellphones take note. Hey, I\u2019m playing regular dude, out to soak in some of that festive feel I\u2019m here to help create. A headliner\u2019s true job, you\u2019ll see as the day\u2019s excitement culminates into night, is tossing a dose of delirium over a giant throng tens of thousands strong.<\/p>\n
Full beard, cascading hair, aided by inconspicuous extensions, black T-shirt, gold necklace. Iconic sunglasses because the eyes give you away, classic horn-rimmed eyewear clasping the collar of the Tee. I feel incredibly credible as Dave Grohl\u2019s unsanctioned stand-in amidst moments of selfie sweetness. No autographs, thank you.<\/p>\n
Pride and bragging rights is all I offer. Just a little slice of fame\u2026 Take a bite.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m like Santa or the Easter Bunny handing out good cheer for free.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
That night the Stone Pony is packed. I\u2019ve long downgraded back to me.<\/p>\n
A chick squeezes her barstool in next to mine and says over the cover band\u2019s decibels, \u201cWhy you do it? You a super fan?\u201d I notice her phone wallpaper\u2014a selfie of me as Dave Grohl and her. Wow. All the vindication I\u2019ll ever need. \u201cI never got this many likes,\u201d she says. She\u2019s the crunchy, freckled type. Opinionated vegan, I guess, nicely worn, in decent shape.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe Foo Fighters were awesome,\u201d is all I say and suck on my hazy brew.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat what you do? Travel from gig to gig, an imposter? Impersonator? What for?\u201d<\/p>\n
I bring magic, I think.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat the only way girls fall for you?\u201d<\/p>\n
We all have our ploys, I think, and have an idea what hers might be.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou do others? Is kinda cool.\u201d Now, that\u2019s a first!<\/p>\n
\u201dYeah,\u201d I say.<\/p>\n
\u201cLike who?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFor some I just keep up a distance. Devise a disguise.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou a con-artiste,\u201d she says.\u00a0 She\u2019s smart, not blasted after a long day out. Maybe she\u2019s writing an expose for some rag. Judging by her sparse words, no. \u201cWho?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve done Bono and Bruce.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHoly shit. Them I can\u2019t see.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAll I need is get people to buy into it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThey catch me in camouflage in a private moment\u2014we\u2019re in cahoots.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen you say me, you mean Bruce or Bono?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n
There aren\u2019t other examples. Reimagining is a new fascination for me. She\u2019s in no rush for a drink. The bartender is mixing cocktails several folks away. A big, burly guy behind her, I wonder how long he\u2019ll be patient.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou a lost soul,\u201d she says. I hear an edge.<\/p>\n
Maybe, I think. Maybe the rub, the temptation, the illusion of glamour have gotten to me.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou strike me like a kind of accountant who rides a motorbike on weekends.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo motorbike,\u201d I confess.\u00a0 After a while I say, \u201cOnce in a blue moon, I need to wiggle out of my comfort zone.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTill you in the zone?\u201d she suggests.<\/p>\n
Maybe she gets me. At a party, somebody said, from the right angle I looked a bit like a smirking Tom Hanks. It\u2019s how it started. I thought, wow, the possibilities.<\/p>\n
She startles me, gets up and asks, \u201cYou ready?\u201d That\u2019s a first! I sense an exciting tingle.<\/p>\n
She carves a pathway past tightly packed patrons out the door. I\u2019m right behind. A welcome reprieve for the ears. There\u2019s smokers out, puffing.<\/p>\n
My car is just a block and a half, I\u2019m thinking logistics. I turn to her to inquire what next. \u201cBingo,\u201d she addresses that beefy dude I noticed before who pulls up from behind her and smacks me right on the nose. I go down. I see stars.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cThat what you do? Travel from gig to gig, an imposter? Impersonator? What for?\u201d
\nI bring magic, I think.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":182,"featured_media":20090,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[1008,3444,1002,3445],"class_list":["post-19525","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fiction","tag-bar","tag-fame","tag-festival","tag-rock","writer-hart-vetter"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19525","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/182"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19525"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19525\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20091,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19525\/revisions\/20091"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20090"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19525"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19525"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19525"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}