Mr. Davis hadn\u2019t known that a penis could fracture, yet when the young lady in scrubs with the ultrasound machine pressed the tip of the probe into the crooked purple eggplant between his legs and declared \u201cYup, it\u2019s fractured,\u201d he knew his life would never be the same, not because his sex life was over, as the surgeon with the gray mustache and pock-marked nose and mouth too big for his face told him \u201cI can fix that, and have you back in the saddle in 4 weeks,\u201d before adding \u201cthough there\u2019s a small chance of post-op infection,\u201d but because he didn\u2019t think he could feign disinterest with his wife Gwen for 4 weeks, imagining himself sneaking to the bathroom in the middle of the night so he could change the blood stained dressings without her knowing, and what would he say every time she reached under the sheets to touch him and he pushed her away, fearful she\u2019d discover the gauze and the sutures?<\/p>\n
So he\u2019d have to tell her how one evening during his company trip to Baltimore, a prostitute had knocked on his hotel room door, looking for a different Mr. Davis, but when she flashed him what she wasn\u2019t wearing under her black leather jacket, he actually let her inside, his hand trembling as he checked his wallet and found just enough cash, so that when he invited her onto his bed, it was the first time he\u2019d ever pushed thoughts of Gwen away while another woman lay beside him. Then during a particularly risky and vigorous sexual maneuver called The Helicopter, something he and Gwen had once tried successfully during a sightseeing trip to Vancouver, he experienced sudden searing pain, while he shrank and swelled up at the same time.<\/p>\n
His cellphone rang, Gwen\u2019s nightly call to ask him how the meetings with his client went, and did he treat himself to something nice for dinner, maybe steamed Maryland blue crab with Old Bay Seasoning, did he get to see how beautiful the Inner Harbor was or visit the Babe Ruth Museum, and he could later tell her that he went to bed early and that\u2019s why he didn\u2019t answer the phone, that would be easy. But what was harder was facing how his life was imploding, how his client had walked from the deal that was critical to his company\u2019s viability, how he only ate Popeye\u2019s greasy fried chicken for dinner, and even the prostitute told him he wasn\u2019t very good, when his fingers fumbled in all the wrong places, and it was her humiliating commentary that had incited him to attempt the fateful maneuver.<\/p>\n
Worst of all, he had failed Gwen, who had always supported him and loved him, cooked him mild food after he perforated his stomach ulcer, worked extra shifts as a waitress when he was unemployed for 2 years, and now at the end of the week when he would return to their home, he\u2019d have to tell her everything, maybe just moments after opening the door and receiving the warm welcome of her hug, and he\u2019d cry as he felt the comfort of holding her, perhaps for the last time ever, and after he\u2019d tell her, and after she\u2019d throw him out of the house, he\u2019d lose his job, live out of his car, maybe even suffer a post-operative genital infection, so that as the orderly rolled him to the operating suite, and they injected something into his veins to make him drowsy, he decided he wouldn\u2019t return home after all, he\u2019d escape to Texas instead, change his name to Gorski, shave his head, look for a job, maybe a short order cook at Popeye\u2019s, and as the anesthesiologist thrust his jaw forward and started to slide the breathing tube across his tongue, in that last moment of consciousness before the surgery, he imagined Gwen\u2019s distraught face talking to the police about his mysterious disappearance, the deputy asking her if he had any enemies, the subsequent years of terror and desperation as she searched for him long after the police had given up, and when he thought about what it\u2019d be like to never speak to or see Gwen again, he thrashed around on the operating table, until the surgical team shouted, held him down, strapped him in, and finally he went under.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Mr. Davis hadn\u2019t known that a penis could fracture, yet when the young lady in scrubs with the ultrasound machine pressed the tip of the probe into the crooked purple eggplant between his legs and declared \u201cYup, it\u2019s fractured,\u201d he knew his life would never be the same.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":19545,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[3235],"class_list":["post-18827","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fiction","tag-genital-injury","writer-eliot-li"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18827","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18827"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18827\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19546,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18827\/revisions\/19546"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19545"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18827"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18827"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18827"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}