She\u2014whoever she is\u2014is beautiful. Wait, no, she is more than that; she is ethereal. Her tawny brown skin illuminates against the darkness of the night and soaks up the orange glow that the string lights surrounding the covered patio emits. She has lips fuller than mine, a smile brighter than mine could ever be, and golden hair that coils in a way mine never will. Every part of her is superior down to the way she is making him laugh. Such hearty, boastful laughter coming from a man whose build is too stocky, his face too earnest for that kind of emotion. I\u2019ve tried before, but I never could have that sort of effect on anyone, especially on a man like him. His laughter grows still as he reaches a hand across the table to covers hers, but the ethereal woman immediately pulls away.<\/p>\n
For just a second, my heart leaps at the idea of her rejecting his affections, but then she takes those dainty, likely manicured fingers and swipes away the tears that have fallen from his eyes after the seemingly hilarious joke she just shared. Is anything ever that funny? Something soft and quiet settles between them, and they gaze at each other as if nothing or no one else matters, as if me standing across the street watching them doesn\u2019t matter. Their fingers begin to intertwine leisurely, and, eventually, their palms meet. I know that the callouses which scatter his palms are a lovely juxtaposition to her own. I know this because those same hands\u2014the ones he uses to lay carpet every day\u2014would caress my skin morning and night, generating a certain type of pleasure that I haven\u2019t felt since then.<\/p>\n
My mind is begging for me to move even the slightest inch of my body, but my legs are rooted in this spot, keeping me hostage as I witness my ex loving someone else in a way I never thought he could.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey! There you are. Took me forever to find a spot.\u201d Marcus, a sweet, good-looking man and my boyfriend for the past year and a half, now stands beside me.<\/p>\n
However, I can\u2019t tear my eyes away from the two of them who are now engaging in a passionate kiss. Their hungry lips press together as if they are restraining themselves from literally devouring one another, and even from this distance, I can clearly see the wetness forming in his mouth as his tongue slips into hers. I never liked public displays of affection; it made me feel too seen, something I often avoid being.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey…did you hear me? Are you okay? If you\u2019re worried about it being too busy then we can eat somewhere else\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
I stop his rambling by mashing my lips against his. Marcus is \u2014understandably \u2014startled by my impulsiveness, but the tension in his shoulders quickly dissipates and he doesn\u2019t hesitate to wrap his arms around my waist, drawing me in closer.<\/p>\n
In this moment, I\u2019m reminded of the stark differences between the past and present. This kiss tastes and feels nothing like it once did with him. Marcus\u2019 lips are always too soft, too moisturized, his face too clean cut and perfect. There is no facial hair to tickle the tender skin below my ear. No chapped lips for texture. No teakwood fragrance burning my nose. No shivers rushing down my spine. No unraveling of the heart. It\u2019s just not the same, and it never will be. I detach myself from Marcus\u2019 lips and glance back across the street.<\/p>\n
They\u2019re gone.<\/p>\n
Scanning my panicked eyes around the area, I finally spot them\u2014two shadows taking complementing footsteps underneath the moonlight. They\u2019re walking along the street and away from the restaurant, away from me. Her fingers cling at his bicep and he stares down at her like she\u2019d vanish if he dared to blink. Every single muscle in my body\u2014including my heart\u2014turns to stone.<\/p>\n
\u201cWow. Baby, I\u2019m not sure what\u2019s gotten into you, but that was great,\u201d Marcus exclaims.<\/p>\n
\u201cMarcus, do you think that I\u2019m ethereal?\u201d<\/p>\n
His head tilts slightly in amusement. \u201cI\u2019m not sure what that means, exactly, but if you\u2019re asking me if I think you\u2019re beautiful, sexy, and absolutely amazing, then, yes. Yes, you are.\u201d<\/p>\n
Marcus\u2019 smile beams as if he\u2019s just aced some relationship pop quiz and he looks at me with expecting eyes. I flash him a halfhearted smile before removing myself from his grasp and walking towards the parking lot.<\/p>\n
Suddenly, I\u2019ve lost my appetite.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Scanning my panicked eyes around the area, I finally spot them\u2014two shadows taking complementing footsteps underneath the moonlight. They\u2019re walking along the street and away from the restaurant, away from me. Her fingers cling at his bicep and he stares down at her like she\u2019d vanish if he dared to blink. Every single muscle in my body\u2014including my heart\u2014turns to stone.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":19124,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[3057,3058,1513,140,105],"class_list":["post-18334","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fiction","tag-heartbreak","tag-letting-go","tag-loss","tag-love","tag-relationships","writer-angelica-williams"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18334","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18334"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18334\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19128,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18334\/revisions\/19128"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19124"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18334"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18334"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18334"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}