Randy Briggs, better known to pro-wrestling fans as Mountain Man Briggs, stared at the body that lay on the cracked bank of the Trinity River. It was the biggest fish Randy had ever seen, its long frame covered in huge scales that reminded Randy of shark teeth. Even in death, it looked intimidating. Its mouth hung open, revealing needle-like teeth that looked as though they could rip meat from the bone.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat the hell is that thing?\u201d Randy said.<\/p>\n
Jack Spitzer, his tag team partner, and traveling companion stood beside him. He clutched a fishing pole in one hand and a six-pack of Lonestar Beer in the other.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s a gar,\u201d he said. \u201cUgly son-of-a-bitch isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt looks like a damn dinosaur,\u201d Randy said.<\/p>\n
\u201cAin\u2019t even that big,\u201d Jack said. \u201cThat\u2019s a long nose. Alligator gar get more than twice that size and a hell of a lot fatter. When I was growin\u2019 up we used to hear stories about them attacking kids who went swimming in the creek. Folks said one damn near took a boy\u2019s leg and left it looking like hamburger. Set off a whole summer of people hunting \u2018em down and killing \u2018em.\u00a0 Funny thing is, they later found out later the attack was done by an actual gator.\u201d<\/p>\n
It was a rare day off for the pair. They\u2019d wrestled at a VFW hall in Shreveport the night before, and had a show at the Sportatorium in Dallas the following evening. It was the last leg of a tour that began in Florida, before making its way across the south with stops in Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, and Louisiana.<\/p>\n
They were billed as brothers with a country boy gimmick, coming to the ring barefoot and in overalls. Both stood over six feet tall and tipped the scale at just under 300 pounds, though they were advertised at a combined weight of 700. Their long, uncombed hair and scraggly beards completed the look, making it seem as though they\u2019d just wandered out of the backwoods and into the ring.<\/p>\n
Late last night they\u2019d checked into a motel by the side of the interstate. The room was dirty, but it was cheap and the cable worked, the latter being a pleasant change from the last few motels they\u2019d called home.<\/p>\n
The fishing trip was Jack\u2019s idea. He\u2019d grown up in the area and said they were sure to catch a few largemouth bass or catfish. Randy resisted at first. He took a few hard bumps the night before, and his body hurt like hell. The idea of sitting in the sweltering heat while pain shot through his back and legs sounded terrible.<\/p>\n
All he wanted to do was pop a few painkillers and make use of the magic fingers in their shitty room. But Jack bitched and complained so much about getting out, that he gave in.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat the hell happened to it?\u201d Randy said.<\/p>\n
\u201cLooks like somebody shot it with an arrow,\u201d Jack replied. \u201cSee that big ol\u2019 wound?\u201d<\/p>\n
He pushed the fish onto its side with his foot. There was a ragged tear in the middle of its body.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd they didn\u2019t eat it?\u201d Randy said.<\/p>\n
\u201cNah,\u201d Jack said. \u201cGar are trash fish. You don\u2019t eat \u2018em.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy bother killing it then?\u201d Randy said.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy not?\u201d Jack said with a shrug. \u201cThey ain\u2019t worth a damn. Why do you think they call \u2018em trash?\u201d<\/p>\n
Randy knelt down beside the fish. The pain in his knee grew intense for a moment and he winced. Getting back up isn\u2019t gonna be fun, he thought. Sometimes he wondered why he kept wrestling. Problem was that he couldn\u2019t imagine doing anything else.<\/p>\n
He reached a finger out and poked at the corpse. The scales were hard and thick. He thumped them lightly, causing a bit of dust to swirl into the air. The body made a hollow sound. It was hard to tell how long it had been laying on the river bank. Prodding at it a little more, it seemed that it was turning brittle, baked by the blast furnace created by the Texas sun.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou ever catch one before?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cNever on purpose,\u201d Jack said. \u201cI threw a bait net out into the lake once and snagged one. Mouth so tangled up in the net that I had to break part of its jaw off to set it free. Wasn\u2019t easy either. Damn things are all muscle and it was thrashing to beat all. I even sliced my hand on some of its teeth. Still got the scar.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSounds like you got what you deserved,\u201d Randy said.<\/p>\n
\u201cProbably so,\u201d Jack said with a laugh.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd did it survive?\u201d Randy said.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow should I know?\u201d Jack replied. \u201cI watched it swim off. Dunno what happened after that.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jack looked at the body in front of him. He tried to picture its final moments\u2013the scales glistening as it swam slowly throw through the green water, dense muscle propelling it along effortlessly before exploding into violent motion when it was pierced by the arrow. He wondered how long it kept fighting.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou think we should bury it?\u201d Randy said.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat in the blue hell for?\u201d Jack said.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust doesn\u2019t seem right leaving it here like this,\u201d Randy said.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s just a fish,\u201d Jack laughed. \u201cI swear, did you land on your head funny yesterday or something? You wanna say a little prayer over it too?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, you\u2019re right,\u201d Randy said. \u201cStupid idea. I don\u2019t know what came over me.\u201d<\/p>\n
He rose with a wince, hoping Jack didn\u2019t notice. The magic fingers will definitely be put to use tonight, he thought. He gave one last look at the gar before setting off down the trail again.<\/p>\n
\u201cCome on,\u201d he said. “Let\u2019s do some fishing.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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