The job hunters sat in a row of plastic chairs in a library meeting room, facing a white board framed by a banner of upper- and lower-case cursive letters.<\/p>\n
The facilitator, a perspiring man in a striped polo, had them repeat his mantra: \u201cYou\u2019re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIs that a line from Winnie the Pooh<\/em>?\u201d Vaughn asked the woman next to him. She shrugged. He didn\u2019t need an answer. He\u2019d read the book to his children. He recognized Christopher Robin\u2019s encouragement.<\/p>\n Vaughn wasn\u2019t encouraged in this basement room with its school decor. He worked for the main branch of the library system, as an archivist and a periodicals coordinator, two separate jobs combined after city budget cuts. Then in another round of cuts, those jobs became a half-time position. He fell behind in child support. His ex-wife urged him to check out the job-search club.<\/p>\n \u201cI want everyone to name one unique thing about yourselves,\u201d the facilitator said. \u201cWe\u2019ll suggest jobs that will utilize skills you might not be highlighting on your resumes.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI collect comic books,\u201d Vaughn offered when it was his turn.<\/p>\n The group suggested he work in a toy store. He left the meeting early.<\/p>\n At his son\u2019s classroom holiday party, another parent mentioned she was down a team member in her card shop.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m down a dozen hours at my library job,\u201d he responded as his son sprinkled glitter on a paper snowflake and Vaughn\u2019s pants.<\/p>\n By the new year he had his first-ever retail job. He worked every Friday evening, every Saturday and every other Sunday, hours the other part-time employee, Petra, who drove for Uber, couldn\u2019t work. It curtailed the time Vaughn could spend with his kids. He had to give up Saturdays as batting coach on his kids\u2019 softball team.<\/p>\n On the first day his boss Shannon handed him a four-page document. \u201cI give this to all new employees. It explains procedures and what we sell.\u201d She watched him ring up his first few customers, telling each person Vaughn was new, that he was just learning. He felt clumsy, like his kids when they learned to snap their fingers or pour milk.<\/p>\n Shannon asked employees to stay busy even when no one was in the shop. For this reason, there was never dust on the shelves. The stacks of soy candles in silver tins, the pressed flower prints, mugs bearing motivational sayings: all realigned daily.<\/p>\n Vaughn hated the feather duster. As he waved baby-blue feathers over porcelain figurines, he imagined knocking one of the gaping baby owls or pouting puppies off the shelf to hear it shatter. He would never actually do it. He needed his minimum wage. Plus, there were cameras overhead.<\/p>\n He tossed the duster on the floor when the phone rang and side-stepped around a table of imported tea and floral mugs to the wall behind the cash register. In the next aisle Petra organized rows of cards and envelopes, filing misplaced greetings with their designated occasions.<\/p>\n \u201cRemember, don\u2019t turn your back to the door,\u201d Shannon said into the phone before he\u2019d had a chance to say good morning and may I help you, as instructed in the employee handout. \u201cSomeone could walk in and take something before you even know what\u2019s happened,\u201d she added.<\/p>\n Petra looked over. Vaughn rolled his eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cRight,\u201d he said into the phone.<\/p>\n \u201cDid you post a photo online yet?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNot yet,\u201d he said. \u201cI know. Valentine\u2019s Day.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI just got into the chair at the hairdresser\u2019s. You and Petra should eat lunch soon. We might get busy this afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGot it,\u201d Vaughn said. \u201cEnjoy your day off.\u201d<\/p>\n Shannon sighed. \u201cYou know how it is, being a single parent. Plus, I have the added responsibility of being a small business owner.\u201d She paused. \u201cRemember to roam with the customer, show them merchandise they might not have noticed.\u201d<\/p>\n He hung up and resumed dusting, careful not to turn his back to the door. A year ago he had no clue what it was like being a single parent or what it meant to run a small business. Then his wife decided their marriage wasn\u2019t fulfilling. He wasn\u2019t completely surprised. Their conversations had become limited to who was doing pick up, who was doing drop off, and whose fault it was their oldest had started saying fuck. He didn\u2019t blame her for wanting more. In order to live close to his children, he\u2019d rented a studio apartment in the neighborhood near their school. The day he signed his lease the city reduced the library\u2019s hours. He became even less.<\/p>\n He\u2019d absorbed Shannon\u2019s policies: never say no to a customer, ask questions that invite conversation, and keep his hands busy. On one of his first shifts, as he roamed with a customer through a cluttered aisle, he bumped a table stacked with soy candles and coffee mugs. Two mugs broke and a candle tin dented as it hit the floor. Shannon sighed loudly as she marched to the table.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sure you\u2019re a good archivist,\u201d she said as she inspected the candle tin. \u201cWhat even is that?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBesides preserving historical \u2026\u201d Vaughn started to answer.<\/p>\n She continued. \u201cI\u2019m just not sure you\u2019re meant to be in a job like this.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOf course I wasn\u2019t meant for a job like this,\u201d he said, then regretted it. \u201cYou know what I mean. The library is orderly.\u201d He picked up a mug missing its handle. \u201cYou can take this out of my paycheck.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI hate to do that,\u201d she said. \u201cBut I don\u2019t mind asking you to clean it up. There\u2019s a mini broom and dustpan in the back.\u201d<\/p>\n He used the tip of the broom to pull broken bits of mug from between the candles.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat are you doing?\u201d Shannon yelled. \u201cYou\u2019re going to break more stuff!\u201d<\/p>\n He put the broom down and moved the candles to the side. His hands shook. He couldn\u2019t remember the last time he\u2019d been yelled at. Unless he counted fights with his ex-wife, but those were rare.<\/p>\n \u201cDid you eat a lot of paint chips as a child?\u201d Shannon said. She laughed theatrically. \u201cI\u2019m joking. Did you see that movie? With Chris Farley?\u201d<\/p>\n He refused to look at her. He emptied the mug shards into the garbage. He\u2019d spent his professional life believing the boss knew best. That was starting to seem like a lie. Combining two very different jobs to one, insulting new hires. No wonder he\u2019d never climbed the ladder of success. He considered walking out and going from store to store in the mall to find another job. But the thought of the online application process rooted him in place. He\u2019d spent hours one night at his job club entering employment history that existed on his resume, for a bookstore job. He wondered if human eyes had ever seen the application.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cShannon suggested we eat soon,\u201d he said to Petra after he hung up the phone. He wasn\u2019t hungry, but knew if they didn\u2019t sit down at the table behind the counter, they\u2019d get another phone call.<\/p>\n \u201cShould I set the timer for thirty minutes?\u201d Petra asked.<\/p>\n He couldn\u2019t tell if she was joking. She was from Brazil and had come to the U.S. to study graphic design. She also said she was communist, making her doubly foreign to Vaughn. After a shift with her he would go home and Google things she said that he didn\u2019t understand. She suggested he read Karl Marx.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m afraid if I ask for it in a bookstore or buy it online, I might be placed on some kind of government-watch list,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n She laughed. \u201cMaybe Emma Goldman then?\u201d<\/p>\n Vaughn shrugged.<\/p>\n After lunch, he told Petra he had to run to the drug store, for a chance to get out, even though it technically wasn\u2019t out. He walked away from the quiet end of the mall where the card shop was located, along with a travel agency and mattress store. He wandered into a comic book store, and studied a series of action figures with large eyes. He picked up a box holding the hero from a TV show about a zombie apocalypse. On television he was gritty and invincible. The doll looked like Vaughn felt: shrunken and infantilized.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you hiring?\u201d he asked the guy at the register.<\/p>\n \u201cIf you wanna work for store credit,\u201d the man answered without looking up from the laptop he was typing into.<\/p>\n Petra had finished dusting by the time he got back. He leaned against the counter and opened one of the comics he\u2019d bought for his kids.<\/p>\n \u201cDid you enjoy the manufactured cheer?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n He raised his eyebrows.<\/p>\n \u201cThe institutional lights and overproduced music. The styling products in the air.\u201d She gestured toward his comic book. \u201cYou\u2019ll get a phone call if you stand there and read,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n \u201cWouldn\u2019t you rather work in one of the stores where people your age shop?\u201d Vaughn asked.<\/p>\n \u201cNot really. You have to wear what they sell. Plus, I need a job more than any of those businesses need an employee. I had to take what was offered.\u201d<\/p>\n He put the comic under the counter and pulled out a bottle of window cleaner. He started for the door to clean the window, but abandoned the task when a customer entered the store.<\/p>\n \u201cI would have thought mall management cleaned the windows,\u201d the woman said. She was out of breath, as if she\u2019d sprinted to reach them. She walked slowly down the aisle of notebooks and journals. Vaughn followed. He wondered if the mall had custodians, or if they\u2019d been let go after the movie theater closed and the mall became quiet.<\/p>\n \u201cDo you sell those little plush animals with the large, sparkling eyes?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019re hoping to get some in. They\u2019re a popular gift for Valentine\u2019s,\u201d he said, never saying no.<\/p>\n She turned up the aisle with the figurines. \u201cWhat about these statues? Do you have any unicorns?\u201d<\/p>\n Vaughn looked at Petra. He still wasn\u2019t sure what they sold. She shook her head no, imperceptibly, so it wouldn\u2019t be caught on camera.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re welcome to take a look back here, in the clearance section,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n \u201cOh. The nice woman who works during the week usually knows what you have.\u201d The customer\u2019s eyebrows were drawn on at an arch that conveyed distaste.<\/p>\n Vaughn busied himself straightening a series of framed mermaid prints on the wall. The woman left without buying anything.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Shannon called Vaughn midweek. She had to take her son to a doctor\u2019s appointment on Thursday, so she needed him to pick up an extra evening.<\/p>\n \u201cI know you don\u2019t like to work weekdays, because of your other job. But Petra has to leave early. You\u2019ll be alone,\u201d she warned.<\/p>\n His normal schedule, with five days off between shifts, meant he started each weekend feeling a little rusty. A Thursday shift would help his learning curve, not to mention pay for rent and cereal and frozen pizza for his kids.<\/p>\n When he arrived Thursday, Shannon had a list prepared of work he could do while the store wasn\u2019t busy.<\/p>\n \u201cConcentrate on these,\u201d she said, gesturing at a collection of miniature ceramic purses. \u201cLet\u2019s put them on the table by the front door. Move the candles that are there to aisle two. I cleared space.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat are these?\u201d he asked, holding up one of the purses.<\/p>\n \u201cThey\u2019re designed by an Instagram celebrity. I hope they sell. I was thinking we could put little succulents in a few of them. Cute. Cute. Cute.\u201d<\/p>\n He signed in on the sheet next to the cash register. Petra stood next to him, signing herself out. In the back office Shannon packed up her water bottle with the flavored ice ball and her dozens of keys held together on a ring adorned with coconut-shell beads.<\/p>\n \u201cShe has an affinity for products designed to alert people that she\u2019s doing good in the world,\u201d Petra said as she put the cap on the pen.<\/p>\n \u201cAre your parents hippies? Or do you learn that kind of stuff at school?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n \u201cI read. You should try it,\u201d she said. \u201cDid you read the book I recommended?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNot yet,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He had the display of ceramic purses arranged when a couple came in looking for a Valentine\u2019s gift for their puppy. Vaughn explained they didn\u2019t sell dog toys. As they turned to leave he remembered the camera.<\/p>\n \u201cThe plush animals we have in the back aren\u2019t that different from what they sell at the pet stores,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n The woman stared ahead and breathed in slowly.<\/p>\n The man said, \u201cLet\u2019s just go to the pet store.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow about taking a look at our toys?\u201d Vaughn stepped further into the aisle, hoping they\u2019d follow. They turned and left.<\/p>\n The phone rang. Shannon, he thought.<\/p>\n \u201cGood evening. This is Vaughn. How may I help you?\u201d He managed to get the full spiel out.<\/p>\n The caller asked about framed prints of local maps. As Vaughn tried to remember if they sold such a thing, a woman walked into the store.<\/p>\n \u201cI need favors for party bags for a birthday party,\u201d she said, walking past Vaughn.<\/p>\n \u201cBe right with you,\u201d Vaughn said away from the phone receiver.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m here alone,\u201d he said into the receiver. \u201cWe have prints of the different neighborhoods. But I\u2019m afraid I can\u2019t describe them over the phone. You\u2019d have to come in.\u201d<\/p>\n He wasn\u2019t sure the answer was correct, but he could hear the woman in the back handling things and putting them back on the shelves. He hung up. His shirt grew damp under his arms. The phone immediately rang again.<\/p>\n \u201cGood evening \u2026\u201d he got out.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy did that couple leave?\u201d Shannon asked.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m busy,\u201d he said and hung up. He made his way to the woman in the back.<\/p>\n \u201cI know it\u2019s late,\u201d she said. \u201cI have a birthday party tomorrow afternoon for my ten-year-old. I just want a little something to put in the party bags that\u2019s not candy.\u201d<\/p>\n He glanced around. Tea wouldn\u2019t appeal to a kid. Nor would candles. He thought about the fruity lip balm. His daughter had opened them one by one to smell them the day she came in. He walked the woman back toward the front, to the lip balms in a fishbowl next to another fishbowl with the coconut-bead keyrings. In between them a pink sign on an easel said $2.50 EACH.<\/p>\n The woman sniffed a kiwi scented one. Vaughn could smell the nondescript sweetness from where he stood.<\/p>\n \u201cLittle girls love those,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n \u201cThey\u2019re perfect,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n He went to the cash register and pulled a shopping bag from under the counter. The phone rang.<\/p>\n \u201cGood evening \u2026\u201d he started.<\/p>\n \u201cUse a smaller bag,\u201d Shannon said. \u201cWe pay a lot for those.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGot it.\u201d He bit his lower lip. \u201cAnything else?\u201d<\/p>\n The woman stood on the other side of the counter watching him. He attempted a smile.<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t hang up on me again,\u201d Shannon said.<\/p>\n He turned toward the wall. \u201cI\u2019m not a small-business owner, but I know these calls aren\u2019t good business. I don\u2019t think they\u2019re good for your parenting either. Aren\u2019t you with your son?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m coming back before closing. We have to talk,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n He finished ringing up the woman, dreading Shannon\u2019s presence. She lived in a constant state of near panic.<\/p>\n The customer thanked him for saving her party bags. \u201cI was about to go to the dollar store,\u201d she said. \u201cIt\u2019s not often I find something affordable in here.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know. And I know you don\u2019t want to splurge for a ten-year-old. Everything small ends up under the sofa or the car seats.\u201d<\/p>\n She laughed. \u201cHow old is yours?\u201d<\/p>\n Normally he enjoyed talking about his kids. It made him feel connected now that he saw them only every other weekend. At the moment, he couldn\u2019t muster the energy for conversation. The woman said good night. He grabbed the bottle of window cleaner and stood near the window, so he\u2019d look busy when Shannon approached.<\/p>\n The key ring and flavor ball announced her marched toward the store. Her cheeks were bright red from the effort of rushing and carrying her giant tote.<\/p>\n \u201cI know it\u2019s late and you want to go,\u201d she said. \u201cLet\u2019s get the store closed. Did you finish the windows?\u201d<\/p>\n He nodded. He didn\u2019t want his voice to betray his exhaustion and rage. He went to the office for a garbage bag. Shannon started to follow, but stopped at the table with the fishbowls.<\/p>\n \u201cHow many lip balms did that woman buy?\u201d she said. She moved the sign. \u201cThis should be in front of the key chains. We\u2019ve had them since last year.\u201d<\/p>\n Wet dread slid into Vaughn\u2019s stomach. He didn\u2019t answer. He emptied the garbage behind the cash register, heavy with takeout containers from Petra\u2019s lunch, while Shannon printed out the day\u2019s final sales tally. The most recent sale printed first, he knew. She\u2019d have her answer in a moment.<\/p>\n \u201cCrap on a cracker!\u201d she said. \u201cYou practically gave those away.\u201d<\/p>\n He nodded slowly.<\/p>\n \u201cYou knew that sign was for the keychains.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHow was I supposed to know that?\u201d he said. \u201cI come in three days a week. And in between those days, you move stuff around. I can\u2019t keep up with what we sell and where it might be located.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou have no idea what it\u2019s like to run a small business.\u201d Her voice went up. She was whining like his daughter. \u201cI\u2019m sure to you it doesn\u2019t matter that I paid a dollar fifty for those from my distributor. But it does to me. That\u2019s not a sustainable margin.\u201d<\/p>\n Vaughn stood still, feet grounded to the earth, as the facilitator at the job-hunt club had recommended, so he\u2019d look strong and confident. \u201cShe was about to go to the dollar store. But she spent her money here.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re a good person, Vaughn,\u201d she said. \u201cI shouldn\u2019t have brought you on as an employee. I\u2019m just always trying to help people.\u201d<\/p>\n He stared at her and pulled the trash bag over his shoulder to walk it out to the dumpster. He felt like a baseball player, with his arms at shoulder height and his feet apart.<\/p>\n \u201cDo you take something pharmaceutical to make you so calm?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s a pretty intrusive question. But no.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI wish I could be as mellow as you are. It\u2019s not easy to run this store. I have to keep track of so many details. It\u2019s not like an easy library job.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPoor you,\u201d he said. He walked past the porcelain puppies and owls, past the untouched rack of wrapping paper, and toward the inspirational coffee mugs. He swung the trash bag forward like a bat and swept the mugs off the table toward Shannon\u2019s feet.<\/p>\n \u201cNot that calm, I guess,\u201d he said. He dropped the bag. His torso felt weightless, his back straighter.<\/p>\n Shannon gasped. \u201cThose will come out of your paycheck.\u201d Her voice was as brittle as the shards at his feet.<\/p>\n \u201cGood luck with that,\u201d he said. \u201cMinimum wage doesn\u2019t go far.\u201d<\/p>\n He walked out of the store and out of the mall. His job-search club was wrong about retail. They were right about confidence. Absolutely necessary.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" A year ago he had no clue what it was like being a single parent or what it meant to run a small business. Then his wife decided their marriage wasn\u2019t fulfilling. He didn\u2019t blame her for wanting more. In order to live close to his children, he\u2019d rented a studio apartment in the neighborhood near their school. The day he signed his lease the city reduced the library\u2019s hours. He became even less.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":182,"featured_media":16916,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16915","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fiction","writer-lori-barrett"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16915","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/182"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16915"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16915\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16917,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16915\/revisions\/16917"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16916"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16915"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16915"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16915"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}