<\/p>\n
I should have said I love you but instead I said okay, and I should have said I like that new black hair thing, but I didn\u2019t. I went grocery shopping.<\/p>\n
And I should have told you how I was thinking of you when I saw that new kind of soda water and fruit juice, how that would fit into the way you are, and how I bought a four-pack of pomegranate. But when I got home you had left your goddamn papers all over the table again and I just went mute.<\/p>\n
I should have told you about the dream I had where I sat in the darkness of our closet counting your shoes. But instead I blared fuck at the alarm clock and woke up the baby. I should have apologized for that, but I didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n
And I should have told you that when I saw a baby the other day, this little yawning thing of pink and white, I thought a long time about smiling and having another one. But I couldn\u2019t. I was busy biting my fingernails and scratching my legs and finding new ways to fault you.<\/p>\n
So I thought it might help me to make a list of all these things. I wrote it in pen on a napkin leftover from the takeout we ordered the other night. But when I put the list in my pocket it sweat like guilt and disintegrated into a billion pieces. I spent most of today trying to put it all back together, but I couldn\u2019t. So instead I wrote this with the hope that you\u2019ll never read it, and never know all these things I should\u2019ve or didn\u2019t or couldn\u2019t say.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“I should have told you that when I saw a baby the other day, this little yawning thing of pink and white, I thought a long time about smiling and having another one<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3558,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[267,72],"class_list":["post-1679","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fiction","tag-longing","tag-wives","writer-ja-tyler"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1679","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1679"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1679\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17703,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1679\/revisions\/17703"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3558"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1679"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1679"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1679"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}