We all met each other on the internet, of course. Where everything made sense. We started talking about our suspicion of the media. Then we did some spitballing, and we talked about not just meeting in real life, but actually really getting together. Starting a mini compound out in the woods where we could hunt, screw, drink, and plot the overthrow of the government. No bosses telling us what to do or high taxes and political correctness. But when we got out to the woods, things didn\u2019t make quite so much sense.<\/p>\n
Part of the problem was that we knew that we hated the government, but when we started to talk about how to fight the government, we realized that weren\u2019t really sure who the government was. Dale M. thought that it was the President, but we all felt like trying to take out the President was a bad idea. Most of us felt confident that we could take out some of the secret service, but we also didn\u2019t believe that we\u2019d be able to get to the actual President. And even if we did, it was kind of mixed as to whether we thought that we should take the President out or not. It seemed like he was the government, but some of us liked the way he talked.<\/p>\n
Teresa suggested that we should try to take out some Muslims, and that idea got some traction, but after we talked about it, we recognized that only one of us knew any Muslims. That was Dale T., and he only knew the one that sold him a car. Said he was a decent guy. Plus, Teresa got on our nerves. Wouldn\u2019t shut up about what a good shot she was, but she didn\u2019t bring back a single bird or deer or even racoon, so how good of a shot could she be? And on top of that, none of us knew where to actually find a group of Muslims. That might sound dumb to you, but once we were out in the woods, we didn\u2019t really have internet access to answer basic questions. Probably there weren\u2019t a lot of Muslims in the government anyway.<\/p>\n
Andrew said that we should kidnap a few Senators, but after talking about it, we weren\u2019t really sure who the worst Senators were. Especially without the internet. Dale T. said that he thought he remembered FOX News saying that Nancy Pelosi was bad, but Jake told us all that she was a Representative and not a Senator. That got us going for a while, because a couple of us thought that Jake might have been part of the government and just trying to protect Nancy Pelosi. So Jake suggested that we blow up the Supreme Court. That sounded kind of good until Dale M. told us that the court had a conservative majority (\u201cfinally\u201d is what he said), and so we didn\u2019t think that blowing up the court would help the country.<\/p>\n
Now I wouldn\u2019t tell any of the others this, but at this point, I started to wonder if a bunch of them were part of the government. What if this was a liberal plot to send a bunch of conservatives out into the woods so that they could win the next election? I tried to remember who had been in the original group online but didn\u2019t show up in the woods. It seemed like there was a Jeremy, a Brittany, and maybe two Dustins. Though it might have been one Justin and one Dustin. The Justin that did make it out to the woods thought for sure that there was another Justin online. I wondered if maybe Justin was part of the government and trying to throw us off the scent. But if another of the group members was part of the government, and I tried talking to them about it, then they would just confuse me and defend Justin. They might even talk to the other members and say that I was part of the government.<\/p>\n
And so I\u2019m stuck out here, with a bunch that might be in the government or might think that I\u2019m in the government. Or maybe we\u2019ve all been tricked by the government. Because now that we\u2019re out here, I don\u2019t think we\u2019re doing anything at all. Matter of fact, about the only thing that I know anymore is that I don\u2019t really know who the government is. Just that they\u2019re bad. And what does that get you?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Part of the problem was that we knew that we hated the government, but when we started to talk about how to fight the government, we realized that weren\u2019t really sure who the government was. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":16769,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[2597],"class_list":["post-16614","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fiction","tag-conspiracy-qanon-racoons","writer-zeke-jarvis"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16614","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16614"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16614\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16765,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16614\/revisions\/16765"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16769"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16614"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16614"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16614"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}