![\"\"](\"http:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/red-heart-th-e1525795074541.png\")
that shit!<\/p>\nWe\u2019re standing on the sidewalk outside Shirley\u2019s apartment. \u00a0Jimmy says it\u2019ll be the usual. Five minutes in-n-out.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ll watch from the street and text if some bullshit is coming down. \u00a0He\u2019ll text me when he\u2019s clear, and we\u2019ll meet in the alley. I can\u2019t wait to see what that petty sumbitch gets.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t see anybody on the street. \u00a0Nobody. His text hits, and two minutes later I\u2019m around back having a smoke as he walks toward me. \u00a0Sumbitch has a smile on his face like he can light up half the city tonight.<\/p>\n
He reaches inside his coat and pulls out the goddamn lint trap from Shirley\u2019s dryer.<\/p>\n
You broke in for that? \u00a0What the fuck, dude?<\/p>\n
Laughter busts out my mouth in thick steam clouds when my breath hits the cold air.<\/p>\n
Look, he says. \u00a0Jai Alai!<\/p>\n
The thing looks like one of those baskets those sumbitches wear. \u00a0Jimmy starts swinging it around and doing make-believe overhand throws. \u00a0I\u2019m gonna piss myself, I swear to god.<\/p>\n
He stuffs it back in his coat and we head to his place. \u00a0It\u2019s about ten blocks. We\u2019re hunched into our coats and walking fast to keep the cold out. \u00a0It\u2019s quiet, but Jimmy can\u2019t stand quiet. He asks can you picture it? Every time Shirley does laundry, she\u2019s got lint flying around her place. \u00a0That\u2019s funny.<\/p>\n
He\u2019s got a point. \u00a0He pulls this shit each time a chick dumps his lame ass. \u00a0I play lookout because it\u2019s funny as hell to see what he pulls out of his coat.<\/p>\n
We get back to his place, where at least it\u2019s warm. \u00a0Popeye is yipping the minute he hears our feet creaking the boards on the staircase.<\/p>\n
Jimmy says that\u2019s my boy. \u00a0He needs to go out.<\/p>\n
We get inside and Jimmy grabs a leash. \u00a0He sticks one of those little doggy sweaters on Popeye, and they leave.<\/p>\n
I crack a beer and stand by the heat register as it clicks and hisses. \u00a0Right above it is a shelf I call the Last Word Shrine. Jimmy\u2019s got Veronica\u2019s dog tags on it. \u00a0One of Priscilla\u2019s pink ballet shoes from when she was a kid. The rest of Cynth\u2019s birth control pills from one month a while back. \u00a0And now Shirley\u2019s lint trap. That shit\u2019s funny.<\/p>\n
Popeye was Karen\u2019s Chihuahua. \u00a0Jimmy hated that dog, so I don\u2019t know why he took it. \u00a0Got it back to his place and he started pestering it. He\u2019d pinch Popeye\u2019s tail until he cried. \u00a0He\u2019d yell really loud and Popeye\u2019d run under his bed and piss. I felt sorry for the thing. I wish Jimmy\u2019d just turn him loose somewhere and forget it.<\/p>\n
I came by a few days later and Popeye looked almost dead. \u00a0He was real sleepy. He licked my hand when I pet him. Jimmy wasn\u2019t there, so I went down to the pet store and got some food. \u00a0Gave him water, too. There were little doggy turds around, so I cleaned them up.<\/p>\n
Jimmy texted me the next day. \u00a0Thnx bro Popeye that shit!<\/p>\n
I texted back let me have him if you dont want him.<\/p>\n
I came over a few days later, and Popeye was sitting on that sumbitch\u2019s lap. \u00a0They were best goddamn friends. I was kinda sad because I got my hopes up for Popeye to be my boy. \u00a0But at the same time I was happy that he was doing better.<\/p>\n
Jimmy and Popeye come back. \u00a0Popeye sits on my lap. He remembers I saved his life. \u00a0Jimmy grabs the lint trap and wads up a few pieces of paper.<\/p>\n
Watch this, he says.<\/p>\n
He takes paper wads and starts flinging them around his place with the lint trap. Each time, he yells Jai Alai!<\/p>\n
I tell him dude, I don\u2019t think that\u2019s how they play it.<\/p>\n
I can\u2019t stop laughing at his stupid ass.<\/p>\n
Popeye licks my hand. \u00a0He jumps off the couch and yips at Jimmy and does his little play bow. \u00a0Jimmy flings the paper wads. Each time, he yells Jai Alai, Popeye!<\/p>\n
Popeye chases the wads and brings them back.<\/p>\n
This bullshit is not going to end good. \u00a0Even I know that. I\u2019m gonna tell Jimmy that he\u2019s gotta stop. \u00a0Not right now because I like seeing him having fun. Plus, I don\u2019t think the sumbitch really cares how it\u2019s going to end.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
He pulls this shit each time a chick dumps his lame ass.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":14539,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[358,91],"class_list":["post-14513","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fiction","tag-dogs","tag-revenge","writer-jeff-burd"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14513","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14513"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14513\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14581,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14513\/revisions\/14581"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14539"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14513"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14513"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14513"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}