I know I can get better if I want to. Everybody can get better if they want to.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
At the Duck Thru the black ladies are talking \u2018bout the Bradley man that used to be sheriff in Halifax County. He killed himself yesterday. Melissa\u2019s rescue squad was called out to it. They say he called 911 and told them he was having chest pains. And by the time Melissa and them got there he\u2019d shot himself in the chest with his sawed off twelve gauge. He was still alive when they found him. Wallowing right there in his recliner. Melissa said he\u2019d sold everything in the house except for that recliner. Like he\u2019d been getting ready for it for months.<\/p>\n
The black ladies are making sausage biscuits. And all Krystal\u2019s doing is looking at me.<\/p>\n
\u201cRight wet out there ain\u2019t it, Donnie?\u201d she says.<\/p>\n
I nod and rain falls off the end of my hat.<\/p>\n
She giggles and leans on the counter, pushes her breasts together.<\/p>\n
I ask her for a can of Grizzly, and she bends over like she\u2019s stretching. And I wonder for minute what she\u2019d be like, how she likes it. Me taking her from behind. Wrapping that white blond hair round my hand one good time. And it\u2019s alright. She\u2019s been acting like she wants me to be thinking about it\u2014 going on a while now. Since she turned up at our church, bringing them kids to Vacation Bible School.<\/p>\n
She puts the can on the counter and says, \u201cI won\u2019t tell Melissa.\u201d Melissa put me on the prayer list Sunday. Her cousin just got mouth cancer so she thinks I will too.<\/p>\n
Krystal clicks her fingernails on the lighter case, her pointer finger has a little diamond in it. \u201cJust got \u2018em done yesterday. You like \u2018em?\u201d She holds out her hands in front of me, wiggles her fingers.<\/p>\n
Before I can answer she turns to them ladies, smiles at them and says, \u201cMiss Gretchen and Hilly think they\u2019re gaudy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut anyways.\u201d She turns back to me and bangs the register with her fist to open it. She hands me my change, her bracelets clinking. \u201cYou got a plumbing snake? Melissa said she thought y\u2019all did. I think one of my boys done put a truck in the commode.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t worry \u2018bout it,\u201d I say. If I don\u2019t help Krystal, I\u2019ll hear it from Melissa so I tell Krystal I\u2019ll come over \u2018round five.<\/p>\n
Krystal tells me to call her before I head over. She writes her number on the back of my receipt. I put it in my pocket without looking at it.<\/p>\n
When I walk out the door them women are trying to figure if the Bradley man is gonna have an open casket.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf he don\u2019t look too bad, then they ought to do it,\u201d one of \u2018em says.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s the right thing to do\u2026 for the family,\u201d says the other one.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I sit in the truck some and watch the cars fly down Highway 258. Flinging puddles out the road. Fore I even went out to the MacDaniel farm this morning, I knew it was gonna be a swamp. All that corn won\u2019t be worth five cents. Count of that tropical depression, rain\u2019s been here all week. I can\u2019t do nothing. But I called Wayne anyway like a damn piece of shit cause me and Melissa need the money now with another baby coming. I called him and asked him did he want me to do anything out there on the MacDaniel farm. If there was any work I could do on that old picker in his shop. Wayne said he wished he could help me, but he\u2019ll have me back in the field once the rain lets up. He tells me to tell Melissa he said, \u201cHello.\u201d And right now she\u2019s rubbing her belly so happy.<\/p>\n
And right now I\u2019m sitting here alone outside the Duck Thru in my truck and one thing I can always do right is count the teeth on this Grizzly can. That bear comes out having five teeth every time you count it. I put in a good dip. Hell, when me and Melissa was youngins she\u2019d dip too. Don\u2019t know if she really enjoyed it, or if she was just trying to show off to all us on the baseball team. But she\u2019d put a dip in bigger than anything you\u2019d seen and sit right there on the tailgate looking just as pretty as you please, swinging her legs, telling us how she loved the tingle of it.<\/p>\n
Now she\u2019s bought them special vitamins for having healthy babies. It\u2019s the first thing she does every morning. Takes that bottle from her nightstand and pops them vitamins and looks at me and grins.<\/p>\n
It didn\u2019t even feel like nothing when I made that baby with her. I thought that it would feel different but it just felt like every other time.<\/p>\n
If I sit here too long folks\u2019ll see me sitting here. Don\u2019t want anybody to think anything. I just want something to happen. Or get caught up in something until something does. Wish I could just go to sleep and wake up and feel like there\u2019s something to look forward to.<\/p>\n
I get out the truck and dig through all the shit in the truck bed. I find my cane pole and cooler and figure I\u2019ll go out to the pond. Long as I know my family\u2019s been fishing in this pond back off behind Slade Store Road. It\u2019s real nice, lots of pin oaks and gumball tress round the edges. A big Magnolia so old the roots rise up out of the ground and you can sit there on em. Don\u2019t nobody ever come out there. Nobody to look at, nobody to look at me.<\/p>\n
Daddy always said there was a bass out there but I ain\u2019t never seen one. Pond\u2019s too small for a bass. My daddy worked for Wayne\u2019s daddy. That\u2019s how that works. Won’t until I was grown that I that I realized Daddy half assed everything Hell he half parred everything. He always told me he learned everything he knew from his daddy. I never knew the old man, he died before I was born. But I heard my daddy\u2019s old man hollered at him from the time my daddy was a baby. Scared Daddy so much he didn\u2019t talk until he was five years old.<\/p>\n
Reckon that\u2019s why my daddy did some things to me too. I tell Melissa sometimes at night before we sleep and she listens and tells me it\u2019s alright. Melissa\u2019s too good a woman for me.<\/p>\n
Soon as I pull down in there, I spit out my dip and I find the Rich and Rare in my glovebox. It\u2019s the best Canadian whiskey that\u2019s bang for your buck. I drink till the rain lets up to a drizzle and it feels like time is moving easier. And the rain looks like static on the pond. I get out and catch some crickets easy. I catch me a couple baby brim with the crickets, and bait the brim for a damn bass. I throw in round the edges and start jigging the line. A bass would be something.<\/p>\n
Truth is before our baby came I came out here and swam out to the middle of that water. Went right in with my boots on. I wanted the water to fill me up till there won\u2019t nothing left. I wanted something to come and just pull me to the bottom. But I just floated there all afternoon watched the sky change to stars. I was waiting there when I heard Melissa calling for me. I watched the light she was shining on the water, watched it get closer to me. She was screaming my name, running down into the water with her big belly, pulling me out. Telling me she loved me over and over and I couldn\u2019t say nothing. She was pulling stuff out of my hair and beard. \u00a0Then she stopped and showed me. \u201cLook, forsythia blooms,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
The line tugs and then pulls hard like a snatch and I know, I can feel it. It\u2019s a bass. And he\u2019s fighting too boy. I get him to where I can see his eyes and get him on the shore. His stripe is pretty and straight. He\u2019s got to be about eight pounds.<\/p>\n
I lay him in the tall grass, watch his gills open and close. He moves his fins real pretty. And he\u2019s bleeding from where he swallowed the hook.\u00a0And looking at him like that, I almost don\u2019t want to keep him. But I sit there and watch his mouth move till the blood stops coming out of him. And I can\u2019t hardly believe it all. My fucking daddy.<\/p>\n
I fill the cooler up with water and put him down in it easy.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
My watch says quarter till 4. But I figure I\u2019ll call Krystal up anyway, get on over there a little early. And I don\u2019t know how she did it, but the way Krystal curled the \u201cy\u201d on her name looks like a damn heart, like some bullshit. I know she lives in Arrowhead but don\u2019t know which trailer is hers. I call her up and she tells me she lives at the back edge in the blue singlewide. The one with the baby pool she says.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Only time I ever been out to Arrowhead was when Wayne\u2019s son asked me to bring him out here to buy some drugs from Big Bay Odom. I pass Big Bay\u2019s trailer and him and all them are sitting out in their yard watching me, smoking with their shirts off. When I pull up to Krystal\u2019s all these cats go running out from everywhere. And all her kids are watching me from the window, all those little heads, one on top of the other.<\/p>\n
I grab the plumbing snake out the truck bed. \u00a0And I check on the bass and his gills are still opening and closing. He\u2019ll probably be dead by the time I look at him again, suffocate in that water. I put in another dip and I hear Krystal yell at the kids. She flings open the front door and hollers, \u201cDon\u2019t be a stranger Donnie, come on in the house.\u201d She\u2019s in a top she\u2019s about to fall out of. I know then what all this is gonna be. I look back towards Big Bay Odom\u2019s. They\u2019re still watching me. I can feel them watching me when I step into Krystal\u2019s trailer. She hugs me and thanks me for coming over and her kids all go stand in front of the couch. There\u2019s four of them, a boy \u2018bout twelve, two middle ones, and a baby. They all have white blonde hair like her. The place smells like cat piss.<\/p>\n
\u201cY\u2019all \u2018member Mr. Donnie don\u2019t ya?\u201d She tugs at her shirt to show more of her breasts. \u201cHe\u2019s the one that cuts the grass at church.\u201d<\/p>\n
The middle girl starts to pick her nose.<\/p>\n
Krystal pops her hand.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d The oldest points to the plumbing snake in my hand.<\/p>\n
\u201cA plumbing snake, ain\u2019t that a funny name?\u201d Krystal says.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t look like a snake to me,\u201d the middle girl says.<\/p>\n
They giggle and she tells them to go play in their room. The oldest one looks back at me and follows the rest of them ripping down the hall. Krystal leads me to her room and hollers to them to make her some more pictures. And I look back at the fridge and it\u2019s already covered in paper, every one of them is pictures of horses. Horses running in fields, on the beach with big suns over them. She\u2019ll have to take some down to make room for more.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Krystal\u2019s bed is made up with velvet looking pillows that say \u201cAngel.\u201d She picks one up and squeezes it against her. Her skin looks glittery. \u201cGot these from the Dollar General,\u201d she says, \u201cCan you believe it? They\u2019re getting more cosmopolitan all the time.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah,\u201d I say, \u201cWhere you want me to put this plumbing snake?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat sink there\u2019s fine,\u201d she points behind me to her bathroom.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s a big picture of Marilyn Monroe blowing a kiss above the commode and Krystal\u2019s got a candle lit in front of the bathroom mirror, smells like cotton candy. It\u2019s next to a pink ashtray slam full of butts. It\u2019s a glass one, looks antique. I tell her that most folks think you need a plumbing snake when they just need a plunger.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell I tried the plunger already. All day yesterday I was trying that plunger.\u201d She comes into the bathroom and lights a Virginia Slim with a flowery lighter. She edges up on the counter and sits her lighter by the candle.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve been having to use the kid\u2019s bathroom,\u201d she says, \u201cAnd with all of them, it\u2019s right crowded.\u201d She flicks her cigarette into the ashtray. \u00a0\u201cBout like living in the old days,\u201d she laughs.<\/p>\n
\u201cI reckon,\u201d I say.<\/p>\n
I grab the plunger from behind the commode and while I\u2019m plunging, I can see her out the corner of my eye tracing her knees with her diamond fingernail. I can feel whatever that\u2019s in the commode give and I spit my dip out in it. I give it a flush and it unclogs just fine.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, that won\u2019t much of nothing,\u201d she says and she stubs out her cigarette.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t think it was a toy, coulda just been a lot of paper,\u201d I say.<\/p>\n
She gets down off the counter and wiggles her toes into the pink rug. \u201cI knew it, I\u2019ve been telling Jeenie to stop using so much paper, but she likes using my bathroom. What can I tell her? She\u2019s my only girl.\u201d<\/p>\n
Krystal is acting dumb but she knows what she\u2019s doing. I study her feet. She\u2019s picked every one of her toenails down into the quick. There\u2019s dried blood in the corners of some of \u2018em.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou just don\u2019t know how much I appreciate it,\u201d she says. She comes closer. \u201cIt\u2019s hard here you know. I need all the help I can get.\u201d She runs her fingers down my shirt buttons. Her nails make a sound when they touch my buttons. Like a clink like a tap\u2026 \u201cAnd I know you need some help too sometimes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLet me make you feel better, Donnie.\u201d<\/p>\n
And she puts a finger into my shirt between the buttons, scratches my chest. \u201cI know you\u2019ve been hurting,\u201d she says, \u201cfor a long time.\u201d<\/p>\n
And I\u2019m caught up in it. I don\u2019t have no control. I pick her up and put her on the counter and rake my teeth down her neck, all the way down to her collarbone. Her nails go into my shoulders and her heels go into my ass. I shove my hand under her bra and her breasts are hot and soft at the same time. I bite her nipples and she clinches harder, gasps.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou like it hard, don\u2019t you.\u201d Krystal says.<\/p>\n
I throw her on the bed. She gets up to reach for me and I pull her legs out from under her. She gets up again and I grab her hair, wrap it \u2018round my hand one good time.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re a bad man, Donnie Dunlow,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n
I stand there and hold her out from me on the bed and she likes that. She\u2019s making good noise. I want to feel her shaking while I\u2019m inside her. So hard inside her.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s right, I am a bad man,\u201d I tell her.<\/p>\n
She\u2019s trying to reach for me, clawing for me like it\u2019s all she knows how to do.<\/p>\n
\u201cFuck me, Donnie,\u201d she gets louder, \u201cI said I want you to FUCK me.\u201d<\/p>\n
A kid starts screaming, comes flying down the hall. And the bedroom door starts beating, the doorknob shaking, turning so fast.<\/p>\n
I let go of Krystal\u2019s hair and she falls on the bed. The bathroom light makes my shadow on her. She turns over to face me and I see now all of her naked body. Her chest heaves, her legs stretch.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll be there in a minute, Baby,\u201d she yells to the door. She starts to get up and stops in front of me, looks at me like she\u2019s about to cry.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m back where I started and I can see everything now for what it is. And all I can do is slap her. I slap the shit out of her, slap her as hard as I can.<\/p>\n
I pick her hair out from \u2018round my fingers and watch the beating door. When I open it the middle girl\u2019s standing under me wringing her hands.<\/p>\n
\u201cTell them to stop chasing me with that spider,\u201d she points down the hall.<\/p>\n
They\u2019re all looking at me from the end of the hall. But I still wipe my face and pull myself together. And I tell them I gotta bass in the back of my truck.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Heading out the trailer the cats come up underneath my feet, bout to damn trip me. The baby runs straight into the baby pool fast as lightning, even with all the rain it still looks like the water\u2019s been standing in it for months. The middle girl grabs him, wipes the green shit off his fat little legs. The boys crawl up the sides and lean in over the truck bed. I open up the cooler, and he don\u2019t look the same anymore. He don\u2019t look as beautiful. He\u2019s starting to die.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow that there is the prettiest bass I\u2019ve ever seen!\u201d The oldest takes a picture of him on his phone. \u201cYou\u2019ll have to take me with you next time man.\u201d<\/p>\n
One of the cats jump in the truck bed, looks like it\u2019s got a stomach full of worms. The oldest boy picks it up and starts scratching it\u2019s head.<\/p>\n
\u201cLookee!\u201d The girl holds up the baby and the baby sticks it\u2019s head in the cooler.<\/p>\n
The bass moves his tail fin and barely makes the water slosh. The cat perks up. The baby squeals. It\u2019s right pitiful.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat you gon\u2019 do with him, Mithter Donnie?,\u201d The middle boy has a lisp. \u201cHe\u2019s so big, he\u2019d liable to take up the whole wall!\u201d He holds his hands out real wide above his head and the rest of them laugh.<\/p>\n
I look out towards Halifax County and it looks like another storm cloud is coming. It\u2019ll be raining again soon. I tell the kids to head back in the house. And Big Bay Odom and all the trash sitting in their front yards, smoking cigarettes in Arrowhead, sees me leave out of there.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I sit in the truck outside my house and I tell myself that I caught a bass and that my wife will be happy. And that I am a good man coming home to my family. I am a good man.<\/p>\n
When I walk in the house, first thing Melissa says to me is, \u201cWhere\u2019s the diapers?\u201d<\/p>\n
She hits the side of the skillet with the spoon and puts her other hand on her hip, \u201cI told you this morning \u2018fore you went out that Bailey needs some more diapers.\u201d<\/p>\n
Bailey\u2019s on the floor reaching for her Mama with cheerios stuck to her chest.<\/p>\n
I grab Melissa and kiss her on the mouth.<\/p>\n
\u201cGolly, honey,\u201d she says, \u201cWhat\u2019s gotten into you?\u201d<\/p>\n
I tell her to close her eyes. I watch her a little there with her eyes closed wiping her hands on a dish rag. \u201cDid you get them pork chops like I asked,\u201d she pushes a curl out her face.<\/p>\n
I run and grab the bass out of the cooler and the baby laughs at me when I come in. And when I tell Melissa to open her eyes she is so happy. She says how special the bass is. She tells the baby her Daddy ought to go in the paper for a bass like this. \u00a0I\u2019m standing there in the kitchen holding it and I be damn if he ain\u2019t dead yet. His gills open and close so slow. Melissa don\u2019t even notice. She\u2019s kissing me, taking off my cap. She\u2019s taking a picture of me and him on her phone.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll caption it: MY GREATEST CATCH,\u201d she says. She giggles at her own joke. She looks at me like she loves me.<\/p>\n
\u201cLet me put him down,\u201d I tell her. I put him on the cutting board and he lays there real still. We stand over him together and I put my hands around her waist.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s so pretty Donnie,\u201d she says. \u201cYou ought to mount him. We could put him above the TV!\u201d<\/p>\n
I watch him stop moving.<\/p>\n
Melissa moves my hand to be on her belly. \u201cWe could mount him and put him in our little man\u2019s room,\u201d she says it so sweet like.<\/p>\n
But I don\u2019t want to think about that. I tell her let\u2019s eat him. He\u2019ll be good and nice with all the vitamins and all that stuff our babies need. I can\u2019t believe how happy I sound saying it. And I rub her belly and she puts her hands on mine.<\/p>\n
Melissa says that she\u2019ll clean him, that she\u2019ll finish taking care of supper. She tells me I deserve it. I pour a glass of tea and I sit on the couch and look at the baby in front of the TV. Melissa keeps going on about the bass.<\/p>\n
I scratch my beard and some glitter falls outta it. What did Krystal say to those youngins when they all jumped in front of each other showing her the horses they made for her? I don\u2019t remember. I watch the ice melt in my glass, watch the glass drip on the outside. It\u2019s gonna make a ring on the end table. I feel like the glitter is all over me. I feel like it\u2019s shining all over me. Then Melissa hollers for me.<\/p>\n
She\u2019s standing there with blood on her hands.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t do it,\u201d she says, \u201cyou\u2019re gonna have to get the head. His bones are too strong.\u201d<\/p>\n
When I bring the knife down it feels like the rest of his body jerks. His backbone is so strong I have to really work at it until it breaks in two. Krystal said she knew I\u2019d been hurting. I \u2018bout can\u2019t stand it.<\/p>\n
Melissa puts her hand on my shoulder and then puts his head in a bowl in the sink.<\/p>\n
And I go take a shower and get all the glitter and blood and everything off of me.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
When Melissa says the blessing, she opens her eyes to me and rubs her belly.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe just kicked,\u201d she says, \u201cHe\u2019s so excited about his Daddy\u2019s bass.\u201d<\/p>\n
I know damn well that\u2019s not true. She\u2019s not even showing yet. But I feel excited that she feels excited. And that makes me feel like it\u2019s something I can smile about.<\/p>\n
Melissa fried the bass perfect. And she eats him like she\u2019s starving, like she\u2019s been waiting for him all along. It makes me feel good. In between mouthfuls she asks me what work Wayne had for me today, and I tell her nothing.<\/p>\n
\u201cDidn\u2019t even have nothing at the shop?\u201d she says.<\/p>\n
I shake my head and the baby bangs her hands in carrot shit in the highchair. She\u2019s even picking at half a filet.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, y\u2019all will be out in the field soon enough.\u201d Melissa wipes the baby\u2019s face and hands. \u201cWeatherman says this rain will be easing off soon.\u201d<\/p>\n
I take my first bite and he don\u2019t taste musty or anything, cleanest fish I\u2019ve ever tasted.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat about Krystal,\u201d Melissa says. \u201cYou get up with her?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, yeah,\u201d I say.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou didn\u2019t charge her nothing did you?\u201d Melissa says. \u201cYou know she can\u2019t barely afford any shoes for those kids.\u201d<\/p>\n
I try to remember if those kids had any shoes on.<\/p>\n
\u201cI told the women\u2019s auxiliary that we need to take up a love offering for \u2018em.\u201d Melissa talks to the baby getting her out of the highchair. \u201cAin\u2019t that right, sweet baby girl?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd you know what,\u201d she stops on her way from the table, \u201cI\u2019ll put some of them filets together and you can take them to her tomorrow. We\u2019ve got enough to feed an army.\u201d<\/p>\n
I think of Krystal poking my bass apart with her fingernails, feeding all those youngins like little birds. Them underneath each side of her reaching up with their open mouths.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re a good woman, Melissa,\u201d I say.<\/p>\n
I clean off the table. And then I get the rest of my bass out the sink. I take him out and dump him at the edge of the yard.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Bailey sleeps in our bed between us. She don\u2019t move or wake up for nothing. Melissa thinks it\u2019s sweet.<\/p>\n
Melissa puts her Bible down on her stomach and I can tell she\u2019s praying, praying for everybody, but I know she\u2019s praying for me. I\u2019ve known that since she found me out there in the pond. And I know she wants to tell me that she knows that\u2019s where I caught that bass. But she won\u2019t say it because she don\u2019t want to hurt me.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t forget the Bradley man\u2019s wake is tomorrow,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n
I think about that Bradley man sitting alone in his recliner, alone in his empty house, in the middle of the afternoon. He probably had the blinds pulled. But he didn\u2019t want to be there for days until someone found him. Have his children come in and find him like that. That\u2019s why he called the rescue squad.<\/p>\n
\u201cDid he say anything when y\u2019all got there?\u201d I say, \u201cI mean, was he able to talk?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHoney, I don\u2019t want to remember.\u201d She brushes my hair of my forehead and starts to touch my face.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell a man that kills himself ain\u2019t a man at all,\u201d I say. I feel like that\u2019s important for me to say. That\u2019s what my daddy said when L.G. Cook found out he had cancer and shot himself down one of his paths. That was the first time I remember knowing about anything like that.<\/p>\n
\u201cI think I\u2019m proud of you, Donnie Dunlow,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n
I can\u2019t do nothing but turn over away from her.<\/p>\n
She tells me she loves me.<\/p>\n
I look out and watch the rain start to hit the window and I tell her I love her too.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Melissa\u2019s pager goes off at about 11:45. She kisses the baby and is gone. I turn on the scanner on the nightstand and listen to her. She says there\u2019s a bad wreck out on Galatia Church Road.<\/p>\n
Way off I can hear the sirens. I get my Grizzly from under the dresser and I start to pack my dip, I slap it harder and harder. I put in my dip and look at my hands. I look at the back of them and I look at the front, I turn them over and over. \u00a0I go to the gun cabinet and find half a bottle of Rich and Rare and sit it next to me. I spit out my dip and start to drink.<\/p>\n
Melissa\u2019s still on the scanner. The baby\u2019s still asleep. And I sit and watch the rain start sideways, hear the lighting come. Next thing I know I near \u2018bout finish off the bottle.<\/p>\n
I head out the house and it\u2019s so dark I can\u2019t see nothing. I walk into the push mower. It\u2019s already rusting, sinking in the mud. Every man ought to have a shed for his tools. But that don\u2019t matter now. The rain makes the bottle slip in my hands, but I drink it damn straight. Right there in my backyard, right there in front of the fields.<\/p>\n
And don\u2019t you know that the damn coons and dogs came out in the storm and took the last parts of my bass. I\u2019m down on my hands feeling for him. I want to find where I broke him in two.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I know I can get better if I want to. Everybody can get better if they want to. At the Duck Thru the black ladies are talking \u2018bout the Bradley man that used to be sheriff in Halifax County. He killed himself yesterday. Melissa\u2019s rescue squad was called out to it. They say he […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":14022,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[702,1135,171,243,1284,713,712,264,1286,1285,53,1287,12,506],"class_list":["post-13781","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fiction","tag-alcohol","tag-blood","tag-death","tag-depression","tag-dipping","tag-fatherhood","tag-fishing","tag-infidelity","tag-pregnancy","tag-rural-life","tag-suicide","tag-trailer-park","tag-violence","tag-working-class","writer-ashleigh-bryant-phillips"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13781","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13781"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13781\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14034,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13781\/revisions\/14034"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14022"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13781"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13781"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mrbullbull.com\/newbull\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13781"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}