Extreme! Tooth Decay

Electrolytes are important. And they should be. Without them, dunking basketballs or doing a sweet ollie on a skateboard would be impossible. If you ever ran low on electrolytes, you could die or have a muscle cramp. I forget which, maybe both. That’s why so many people drink tons and tons of sports drinks. And that’s why those same people have horrible, twisted maws full of putrefied, moldering teeth. Their smiles are like razor blades slashing at your sanity. Their mouths, a chasm of oral hopelessness, are full of decrepit teeth like tumbledown gravestones.

The problem with many of the sports and energy drinks on the market today is that they are highly acidic. Dental scientists tested the acidity of thirteen different sports drinks by dunking tooth enamel samples in the beverages for fifteen minutes a day (followed by a two-hour dip in laboratory-grade saliva) and found that after only five days, the tooth enamel was damaged.

If you must drink sports drinks (because let’s face it—those basketballs aren’t going to dunk themselves), here are some precautions you should take:

1. Don’t brush your teeth for two hours after drinking a sports drink or you will rub that sports-acid right into your sports-enamel.

2. Drink sports drinks from a beer bong. That way, the acid bypasses the mouth and goes right to your stomach, which is filled with deadly acid already.

3. Drink coconut water instead, then dunk the coconut.

4. Have teeth removed and replaced with the whirring metal blade of a food processor.

5.Wear a mouth guard.


Source: Medical News Today


About the Author

<p>"Dr." J.P. HuxtaBULL completed several CPR and sewing courses in the former Soviet Union and has received honorary medical degrees from the University of Okoboji, Empire State University and Hudson College. He currently works as a sports physician for various underground fight clubs and lawn dart leagues.</p>