Edgar Allan Poe Forehead (A Rare Condition)

Edgar Allan Poe is remembered for many things. He’s been credited with inventing the modern short story and the detective genre. His horror stories are favorites among goths, undergraduates and people who like to seal other people up in stuff. But one thing that is rarely mentioned when we talk about Poe is that he lived with a debilitating and tragic condition his entire life: Edgar Allan Poe Forehead.

Edgar Allan Poe Forehead or EAPF affects roughly one person in a thousand, and it is completely incurable and can be fatal. It is easy to spot someone who suffers from EAPF. Look at a person’s forehead. If where their forehead should end, there is more forehead, it is possible that he or she is a sufferer of EAPF.

Edgar Allan Poe Forehead is a debilitating condition.  It makes hats hard to wear, and head bands only accentuate the enormity of the forehead. (It’s like tying a shoelace around a watermelon.) Often times, when an EAPF sufferer is trying to hide behind a piece of furniture or a fence, their forehead will still be visible. It is a sad thing.

It is quite possible for an EAPF sufferer to live a normal or semi-normal life. Here is a list of many modern-day EAPF sufferers.

1. Quentin Tarantino

2. Tom Hanks


3. Allison Pill

4. The Guy Who Played Dauber on Coach

5. Actually, the Entire Cast of Coach

6. Beavis

7. Bert

8. Nicolas Cage with Bird Hair



About the Author

Dr. J.P. HuxtaBULL completed several CPR and sewing courses in the former Soviet Union and has received honorary medical degrees from the University of Okoboji, Empire State University and Hudson College. He currently works as a sports physician for various underground fight clubs and lawn dart leagues.