from the New York Public Library Archives:

September 7^th, 1962

Dear Mr. Kerouac,

We regret to inform you that we won’t be able to publish your work. Unfortunately, the twenty-seven feet of teletype paper you sent to us was damaged during its brief tenure in our office. Our intern, Nathan, mistook the scroll for a roll of paper towel and used it to mop up some coffee he had spilled on the floor. We tried to restore the damaged document by dabbing it with seltzer water, but that only seemed to make the problem worse. We apologize for our grave mistake. The piece you submitted to us was—we suspect—a very fine piece of writing (although we have no way of knowing this for sure, since most of the verbs and nouns are blotted out with coffee). We are great admirers of your work, and we hope this little incident doesn’t reflect poorly on our journal.

I should have you know: Nathan is the absolute worst.  If he wasn’t my girlfriend’s son I would have fired him by now. Last week he started a fire in the office after putting an action figure in the toaster. (Don’t even get me started on his frequent tardiness and manner of dress.) We’re very sorry, Mr. Kerouac. If you have a back-up teletype scroll, or if you compose a new scroll in the near future, please send it our way. We promise this won’t happen again, as Nathan is no longer allowed access to the kitchen.

Warmest Regards,

Lee Krummholz, Editor of the Vagrant Review

P.S. – To further express our remorse, we have enclosed a back issue of our award-nominated journal at no cost.