Decision Tree

I think about dying a lot these days. But mostly that my crush Sheila might catch me dying. I once heard her tell another teacher that the sensitive boys are her favorite, though I don’t think that means sick boys.Continue Reading

Flash Fiction

He had always felt that Red was someone you summed up over dark liquor and quickly forgot.Continue Reading

Boca de Iguanas

As the vivid tones of ocean and sand gave way to a more downcast layer, the heat began to fade. Far-off, bronze spots clustered toward every conceivable entrance, carrying fluorescent lines.Continue Reading

The Tumor

It was never part of the plan to have dinner with the tumor. But eventually it seemed like the only thing left to try. It didn’t go well.Continue Reading

Wildcard Shorts

I suspect I won’t show my girlfriend this story or essay or whatever it is. I know this is wrong, but the “process” is what’s keeping me alive, I think. Continue Reading

Fat Camp Syllabus

I fractured my penis driving the Zamboni. Before that, my mother disowned me. Before that, I sat shaving my legs like floating dreams above the blue line where hockey players shouted prayers to toothless gods. Before that, my father broke my nose with his figure skate.Continue Reading

World’s Greatest Dad

It was Father’s Day, and two men were fighting in the Dollarama parking lot. One had a shirt that said, “World’s Greatest Dad.” I didn’t know if that’s what started the fight, but a shirt like that is a provocation, and that guy was getting the worst of it.Continue Reading

Strong Swimmer

The man saved from drowning by a pod of dolphins wishes that everyone would stop going on about it. He is fed up with the requests for interviews; isn’t there any real news to report? He is sick of his mother saying he is lucky to be alive. If there’s one thing this experience has taught him, it’s that he’s a survivor, in fact he’s proven he’s pretty much invincible.Continue Reading

Toronto snow plow driver arrested

My job is to scrape. Rich holiday shoppers and the cheap mall do not want snow. They want what’s underneath: an ugly, grey hardscape. Banished to the edges of society’s parking lot, snow drips and drips well into spring when everyone is May and buying sandals. Dirty snow, having as many problems as I do, lives longer than it wants. Continue Reading

Pay Day

I’m no good at this job, I feel too sorry for the people I call, they seem lonely. They ask me how old I am, say I sound young and ask me if I’m in college. What do you care, Peggy will say. Work the loneliness, take as long as it takes to milk sympathetic, you’re not being timed here, but at the end of the shift, you better by God have four leads ready to go.Continue Reading